Rejection

At Bible study last night we were examining the first chapter of Esther. The story goes something like this:

King Xerxes throws this 180 day party with tons of wine to show off his wealth. After this time, he throws another 7 day party for the locals. At the same time his wife is having a party for the women. While Xerxes is intoxicated he asks for his wife, Vashti, to come before all the men. In this day when most women would have felt obligated to say "Yes, dear", she said, "No, thanks". Xerxes got really angry, called a meeting with his "counsel" who were also intoxicated, and decided this wasn't a good example to the women of his kingdom, so he had Vashti dismissed of her queenly position.

Anyway, the question was posed "How do you deal with rejection?" (In reference to how Xerxes handled Vashti's rejection) And for some reason, diarrhea of the mouth hit at that moment and I decided to comment. If you know me, that usually means I find a funny way to express something that really hurts me.

Here's my take on rejection:

I come in contact with someone who rejects me on a regular basis. It's been happening for a while now. Depending on when it happens sometimes I get mad....I mean really mad, sometimes I get defensive, sometimes I cry and sometimes I ignore it. The gamut of emotions is as varied as the 31 flavors at Baskin Robbins. I ask my self all sorts of questions: Why does she hate me? Why does she reject me? What have I done? Why is this so important to me? What can I do differently? But the bottom line is that I haven't done anything to her. She probably doesn't hate me. She might have her own insecurities, and I bet, I've made someone feel this way before too.

I'm not terrible sensitive so it took me a while to realize I was being rejected. Like about 6 months. I've wondered...what if I had a better house? what if I were skinnier? what if I wore better clothes? And then it hit me last night...if I had all these things, and she and I were friends, would this really be what I would want our friendship based on anyway? WOW!

I don't know about you, but either way, rejection isn't pretty. It hurts, it degrades, it embarrasses, it humiliates, it's a poor reflection of who Christ is and what He has done. He was the ultimate ACCEPTOR! I want to walk and share in that acceptance, not wallow around in the rejection I feel here on earth.

Sometimes I think about this situation and I think "how junior high" and it makes me mad! Why can't we grow up. But after last night, I realize that there is a great possibility that although this behavior is extremely childish that others might somehow benefit from hearing that they are not alone. That others feel like they do. Maybe it will make us all a little more sensitive to those around us who need acceptance.