Mandisa

God knows exactly what we need. His timing is perfect. 

This is a lesson that I was reminded of during our trip to Georgia. When my brand new step-sister Stacy said that she had a couple of extra tickets to see American Idol's Mandisa and Women of Faith funny lady Anita Renfroe I couldn't say YES fast enough! I was mostly looking forward to laughing so hard I would need to wear a diaper (if you know what I mean) but quickly remembered Mandisa's incredible weightloss and was secretly hoping I would hear something inspiring from her.

So here I am with Mom and sister in law Jan ....yes we are giddy....there is no denying it!

We enjoyed the concert so much. Anita was hysterically funny....she did the Momsense Song, All the Wrinkled Ladies, The Spoof on Love Story and so many other things that truly only women "get". If you've been living under a rock the last 10 years or so and haven't a clue who she is....two words...You Tube. Check her out!

Mandisa did not disappoint. With her new album due to release in a few days she of course was promoting it. Only thing is....those songs were written out of a time of desperation for her. During her darkest moments she got real with herself and started realizing why she had treated her body with such abuse over the years. She talked about Idol and the impact of the negative words that were said about her while she was on the show and ultimately she talked about forgiveness and healing. Giving 100% credit to the work God is doing in her life, she attributed 5 things to her success. 

1. Scripture memorization

2. Prayer

3. Christian Counseling

4. Eating Right

5. Zumba

One this that she kept reiterating was that God was stronger than the strongholds of food addictions that we binding her and literally weighing her down. I LOVE THIS. It's something that He is teaching me, and in a moment when I needed to hear it again....God spoke loudly. I'm thankful for each step of this journey and the lessons that I am learning ever so slowly. I've known many of them for years....in my head...but we've seen where that has gotten me. It's the heart makeover that makes the eternal difference.

Check out this video:

Get Off the Treadmills

Dear Gym Enthusiasts,

Last night I had plans to walk 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym. However, even after waiting until later than usual to walk, all the treadmills were full. Skinny people, fat people, runners, joggers, woggers, walkers, men, women, elderly and young....hogging the treadmills!!! My word....after 20 minutes of waiting don't you think someone would have tired??? Do you all have Jillian Michaels screaming in your ear buds??? This girl needs to walk!!!

So, needless to say, my friend and I drove away...without one mile under our belts. Tomorrow night when I return, I hope you'll be more generous. If not, it's gonna be ugly. Consider yourself warned.

My Inside Out Pics

If you know me at all you know that I will do just about anything to avoid taking a picture. I have mastered most of the tricks in the book.... put children in front of me, chin up, hide behind others, wear all black...be the one to take the picture...you name it...I've tried it. Well, I've decided this isn't a way to live. I want to have pictures of me and my kids and Bruce together and since the main reason that I haven't taken lots of pics of us together is because of my physical appearance....(weight issues) I've decided to face my fears right here (my apologies in advance) and document this weight loss journey in photos periodically.

The top picture is of me on Christmas Eve of 2010 and the bottom picture is of me on February 12, 2011. I've lost 17 pounds between the photos....but I can't really tell that much of a difference on the outside....but oh wow...the changes happening on my inside. That's what really matters the most anyway. So, maybe by next month there will be more visible notice...but for now, I find it hard to even convey in words what God is teaching me through the process of surrender.

January Wrap-Up

Well, well, well..... January is done. Possibly the longest month of my entire life. Yes, I am sure it has been.


I started 2011 off with some serious inner-examination and realized that there were some things that needed to change, so I jotted down those things, prayed about them, and then asked God to do His thing...because there is no way in my own flesh that I could accomplish not even one of the goals I had. All I heard him say was: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34. In other words....take it day by day. One step at a time. And so, I've sort of just embraced that Biblical standard this month.


Here are a few things that happened:


1. Went to the Dr. for checkup and got some less than good news. Have been taking meds and should know if they are working within the week. Taking care of myself has never been high on the priority list so I am extremely thankful that God gave me the courage, time, money and a wonderful Dr. God's also has given me tremendous peace regarding whatever may come of this and although there are brief moments of fear and doubt, I know He's got this.


2. Started meal planning every week. This not only helps me at the grocery store, it helps me to ensure that my family is eating healthier more balanced meals. I feel better for feeding them better foods.


3. I started working out...well, walking at the local gym. I logged 38 miles for the month. Who did? Yes....that was me!!! (When I think about that distance...the equivalent of my house to Paris, TX...I am just about speechless!!!!)


4. I limited myself to 1 diet coke a day. This took some getting used to, in fact for the first week I had the non-stop headache that most caffeine addicts have, but I'm good now....and probably in time, will get rid of them altogether. 


5. We paid off the last of our debt besides our home. I can't tell you how fabulous that feels!


6. I lost 15 pounds during this month. Attributed to claiming God's promises and sheer God-size self control (more like Spirit Control) and working out.


I have a very long way to go....too long to even think about....but taking it day by day sure makes the way seem less intimidating! 


Thank you Lord for your new mercies every morning and for your daily agenda for my life. You are good to me.

Filling the Void

Void- Empty space, hollowness

It happened to me the other day. The kids went to the grandparents after school. I was home alone. I had cleaned for most of the afternoon, finally finished, and sat down to watch a show on TV that I had DVR'd. I got all comfy and settled in, and then this thought flitted through my head:

"You should get a snack". 

I started thinking about it....food. I starting thinking about how good a bowl of chips would be. At one point I might have even taken my feet off the footstool to actually proceed into the kitchen. And then it hit me....I wasn't hungry. I had just eaten lunch 2 hours before. I didn't need anything....I was full, satisfied.

I was trying to fill a VOID. I was alone, which doesn't bother me....except that I don't know what to do with my time. It's such a rare moment these days for me to be completely alone with nothing to do. I was trying to make the food be the "something" I was going to do during that time. This particular "void" wasn't because I was unhappy, angry, lonely or depressed....it was because...given a few spare minutes of time....I'm not sure what to do with them. 

It was like a break through. Funny term for me....but it's like since then, I can identify when I am starting to feel bored....or empty. I've even made a little list of things that I can do when that happens:

1. Read my Bible

2. Pray for myself (since generally I think people have a hard time doing this)

3. Write a thank you note

4. Meditate on scripture

5. Call it what it is

6. Read a book

7. Go for a walk

8. Journal

9. Be in the moment....I don't want to miss even this part of the journey...I want to feel even this!

10. Listen to music.

God's all over this change in thinking....it's so reverse from what I used to think. I remember when I would think "I deserve this snack. I've worked hard all day, watched the kids, cleaned house ....insert chore here, I deserve to sit on the couch and eat this yummy snack and just relax." And those weekly (ahem...daily) snack stops have been part of the reason I am where I am today. So, just the thought changing process that is going on in my mind is evidence that God cares about what is happening to me...He's filling that void in my life.

This is my prayer: Psalm 107:9: "For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good."

Successes

To give account for one of my goals for the year, I'm reporting in with a few successes for this past week:

1. I made an appointment for a checkup. Since I pretty much hate going to the dr. for any reason...this was an amazing success. Now I just have to show up (sure hope I don't stub my toe or need to wash my hair or something else really important that might cause me cancel....JK :)

2. I ate chicken instead of beef three times this week.

3. I purchased Shred and did the workout on Saturday....and lived to tell about it on Sunday.

4. I turned down donuts, pound cake and extra pizza.

5. Knowing it was a pizza dinner on Saturday night, I made myself a good size salad and filled up on that before the pizza was served. Ended up eating only 2 very small pieces of pizza.

How are you doing on your goals for the year? It's crunch time for sure....that time when those who are serious have to buckle down and those who aren't drop out. It's hard work...no matter what your goals are, but completely possible when your heart is set on God's goal for you!

Help!

In a matter of minutes I will attempt to do this:

and there is a large possibility that after I do this I will not be able to move for a few weeks. I'm not sure it's even advisable for a woman of my "stature" to be doing this but after a very motivational day spent with my friend and her recommendation that this is an excellent workout....I'm doing it.

I hadn't planned on buying the DVD, but last night as I walked through Target, there it was on an endcap...$9...staring at me....daring me to buy it. So, ten minutes later I was standing in the check-out with Shred and ...wait for it......a couple of weights. WHAT AM I THINKING????

Anyway...we will see how it goes....I'm ready for the suffering....but if you don't hear from me in a few hours....you might want to call a few area hospitals!!!

Out with the Old

Happy New Year!

I love the turn of one month to the next and even more so, one year to the next. There's just something about that clean slate feeling. God even knew how much we would relish do-overs...He tells us His mercies are NEW every MORNING. Thank you Lord!

I'm giving this year to the Lord in a way I haven't before. I really do want each day to amount to something good....but in the quietness of this particular moment, I know that in order for that to happen I have to throw out some old habits and even "good" things and set my eyes on eternity, Jesus and the things that are valued in HIS eyes.

So here are a few things I am hoping to throw out this year:

1. Negative self-talk - you know....the kind that talks back at you in the mirror or when you think about a bad experience...yes, that one. I am going to embrace the scriptures and God's thoughts about me.

2. Busyness - I'm not promoting laziness - I am promoting a lifestyle of doing things that will matter down the road....like being more intentional with my kids, writing more, being more hospitable, encouraging more. But I'm throwing off wasting time and the life sucking activities that are the culprits for stress and fatigue.

3. Disorganization- I'd like to become that super clean freakishly crazy obsessive cleaning machine...but it's not gonna happen. It's not me. What I would like to throw out is all the "stuff" that is making my life way more cluttered than I like. I do this every year and would really like to stay organized for more than 2 weeks this year! Let the kitchen cabinet cleaning begin!

4. Lazy parenting- now I will talk about laziness. I am throwing it out....Bruce and I told the kids (maybe warned is a better word) today at the family table that there were going to be some changes coming beginning Monday. They include a detailed chore chart, menu planning, financial planning and more. I know that some of those things might not scream PARENTING, but, I think if we can be more diligent about teaching our kids how to work hard, live healthy, manage their money then we will have done a good job in raising responsible adults. Spiritually we will be spending a great deal of time focusing on Kindness and Obedience with Tucker (and ...if you've hung with Tucker recently then you probably know why these are our primary focuses). For Savannah we are hoping to help her overcome her fear of bad weather by recognizing God is in control of all our days....what an accomplishment if we can help her learn this lesson this early in her life!

5. Self-abuse- Now before you dial 911, let me assure you that I am not doing anything drastic to myself. BUT.....I am throwing out NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. First, I want to take better care of myself spiritually. Reading and memorizing God's Word, reading books that will assist me in my walk and journaling more about the work God is doing. Physically, I have never taken care of myself. I rarely go to the doctor, it's been at least 4 years since I got new glasses, I buy cheap shampoo, rarely use lotion (is this becoming TMI?) and will skip breakfast or eat something totally gross and unhealthy if I need to. I don't get regular hair cuts, I forget to moisturize, I don't get pedicures unless my mom is in town, I will suffer when I don't need to....and this is all STUPID and very UNWISE!....and doesn't earn me any points in the MOMgame. This physical body isn't going to last forever and even though cheap shampoo isn't going to kill me...taking better care of myself is definitely something God is CONVICTING me that I need to do. So eating better foods, taking better care of myself and setting a better example are things I am going to work hard at in 2011. Hopefully by doing a few things for myself I will be better equipped to serve others.

So....there you have it. The old stuff. The garbage. The gunk that's gettin' thrown away. Goodbye old....hello new year. What are you going to work on in 2011?