Teachable Tuesday- What I Want My Kids To Learn in 2019

Savannah is 16, a junior. She's a college shopping, self-employed entrepreneur, piano playing, teenager...and if I had half the gumption she has when I was her age, I'd be famous...but that's not really what's important in life, is it?

Tucker is 13, a seventh grader. He's a fortnight playing, drum beating, basketballer. He is hilariously funny and mostly kind and doesn't mind being in the spotlight...his confidence whether warranted or not is strong.

As I sit here at the dawn of a new year, knowing that time is ticking away with Savannah and before you know it Tucker will be outta here, I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be a mom. It is not wasted on me, that some women do not have this opportunity. I'm also keenly aware that I can't jump in during their teen years and decide I want to teach them how to be "good people". And so, years ago, I asked God for wisdom...and have been doing so ever since.

So last year I worked hard on integrity issues...things like honesty and truth. These were things that were heavy on my own heart and so since I was working on them, I tried to teach my children. There was talk about things that were hurtful and dishonest and there was talk about how we should handle them. There was talk about making God's Word the ultimate, supreme truth in all things and how that would be more and more and more important as they grow up because our world is so full of lies and twisted truths (lies) and mistruths (lies). Have we mastered these things??? Absolutely not...and we won't ever have them perfected. But we made progress and I worked hard to take everyday moments that could have been passed off and instead made them into teachable moments God could use to grow them and mature them in their own walk with Him.

So this year.... Biblical Kindness. That word...KIND....it gets a bad wrap sometimes. Sometimes it looks like helping someone across the road and sometimes it looks like sharing truth in love from God's Word...even when it doesn't feel good. So, how do we teach our kids to be kind without being walked all over or without them being taken advantage or....or even look gullible or stupid? We teach them Biblical Kindness. We teach them to walk like Jesus did. We teach them that Jesus was just as kind when he tipped the tables in the temple as when we met the unfaithful woman at the well. We teach them that true kindness will never contradict God's Word. We teach them when it's worth reaching out and when it's casting your pearls before swine.  We teach them that silence, a hug, a cup of water or a moment of your time is sometimes the kindest thing you can offer. And we teach them that bullying and hate are never acceptable.

So that's what I am aiming to teach this year. How about you? What are the things that you are hoping to instill in your kids this year?

Walking in Truth

III John 1:4- I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in truth.

After nearly 25 years in ministry there is nothing that encourages my heart more than hearing how people that we have had the joy of leading and serving are still faithfully and joyfully serving the Lord and walking in the truth of His Word. Enough years have passed that we have had the overwhelming privilege to hear of so many stories of how God has led people we love, how He has carried them, how they have followed Him during times of joy and sorrow and how they have grown to love Him more and more. I can definitely see how John the Beloved could write these words. 

As a parent, I want the same for my kids. I want them to learn to walk in the Truth. This world has some crazy lies and misconstructed ideas that they will try to get them to buy into, and it's my job for now to teach them how to walk in truth so they don't get side swiped into believing the lies. 

Yesterday I was having a conversation with Tucker (12) and we were talking a little about the struggle of moving and leaving his friends. I let the talk go on for a few minutes because I think it's important for him to share his thoughts and also because he is a boy and he was having "feelings" so I wanted to maximize on listening...but after a few minutes I said, "I know this is hard, but can you see any way God has provided or done anything good during this time?" After a moment he said, "He has already found a friend for me there (new home)." You can't imagine how excited I was to hear him say this. This was the truth. God has already provided him a friend there and Tucker was voicing the truth. Satan would like nothing better for Tucker than for him to believe that this was a tragic situation, that he would be lonely and alone for the rest of his life, that no one would reach out and that he would never find a friend. I know this sounds dramatic but isn't that exactly what the enemy does...makes us believe the absolute worst situation or conflict or circumstance is the truth??? When it's all a big fat lie. 

There is joy when we hear our children are walking in truth, but before the joy there has to be guidance. We have to model the process. We have to teach our kids how to navigate through the hurdles of lies and the roadblocks of deceit that Satan orchestrates. We have to teach them what the Bible says, how to apply it to our lives and how to ask the right questions and seek the right answers when they are faced with a tough situation. 

This doesn't happen by chance. We have to get busy.

Love and Hate

Proverbs 8:13- Let those who love the Lord hate evil.

I am quick to tell you I don't have this parenting thing figured out. At the end of most days I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the influence the world has over my kids, society, the church, my home and the lost. I hate the evil in the world. 

I watched yesterday as yet another social media source was exposed for its graphic content. The shootings in our schools are outrageous. The drug and alcohol epidemic is rampant and my list of finger-pointing sins could go on and on and on. Some of these things (and other evils in this world) I don't have any control over and yet some, admittedly, I do. 

But here's the thing. Christian parents have boxed evil into "really bad things", while ignoring the small, baby steps that led us to the "really bad things". For instance, Savannah was about 3 (now nearly 16) when I noticed how a popular children's TV channel was dumbing down all adults, but especially dads. The casual and humorous disrespect of adults was subtle but it was there. The irreverence towards the home and the rise of childhood, tween and teen "wisdom" began to be more prevalent. And now, it's no wonder that these 15-18 years olds that we allowed to be indoctrinated by culture and TV are the same ones thinking they know best about just about everything. 

Here's what I am saying. It starts small. And somewhere in all this our love for God has to spur us on to hate evil. And if we don't hate the evil that is enticing our children (and us), do we really love God? I know I am asking a hard question...believe me, I am asking myself too. Bruce and I struggle like most parents to find the balance between holy living and being in this world but not of it. But I am asking myself this question today...Do I love the Lord? Because if I do, His word tells me I will hate evil. Hate...a word that is strong and powerful...a word that we've become accustomed to feel ashamed for saying in today's society for fear of being told we are unaccepting, intolerant or uninclusive. But God's Word trumps the world's word...He says...if you love me, hate the evil...hate the things that I hate, hate the things that entice your children to love anyone, anything more than me. 

We've got to wake up. Evil creeps in and wants to steal our kids by the age of 3-4. Right after the lullabies stop, the evil in this world will be enticing our babies. It's happening. Let's love the Lord enough to hate the evil. And although I don't have all the answers, I know we can start by being more aware and not being afraid to be.the.parent. We can also practice loving the Lord together as families by worshipping and talking about the Lord not just at church, but in everyday conversations that keep the doors open to talk about the hard things kids face today.

I don't know about you but I am so tired of hearing of our kids being sucked into the evil of this world. Let's get back to teaching them to love the Lord. Let's get back to hating evil. Let's get back to paying attention.

Day #15 Beautiful Dust Bunnies and Dirty Laundry

See the complete List of Beautiful Things HERE

Fellow Mommas,

I've only been doing the mom things for 11 years. Some of you have been doing it much much longer, but whether you're a veteran or a new mom, there is a common bond between us...whether it comes from intense labor, the terrible twos, or the pride and joy of just being blessed with this beautiful job of raising the next generation, I'm not sure. But I'm glad to be a part of the unofficial club.

There were a few things I underestimated before I became a mom..

- the amount of talking these kids would do.
- the amount of dirty laundry they would produce.
- the amount of time it would take to instruct and train them.
- the tears of joy I would cry over them.
- the blessing and pride I would feel as I watch them make good decisions
- the trust I would need to put their lives in God's hands

and my list could go on and on and on.

Other moms can describe the feelings of becoming a mom but it doesn't do it justice. There's no words to describe your personal feelings about the blessing it is to be "The Mom" on a good day. But let's get real....some days the days aren't good.

In any "job" or "calling" there are off days. Days where the employee doesn't get everything done, gets mad at the boss, frustrated with co-workers, questions God. Why do we think mothering is any different? We all have those days.

Recently I was thinking to myself..."Why can't I seem to get it all together?" "Shouldn't this be easier no that I am home full time?" "Where the heck do all these dust bunnies come from?"

And maybe you've thought the same thing...or at least something similar. Let me tell you something that I am in the thick of learning- This parenting thing...it's hard work....important work...a heavenly assignment. Sure I've known this in my head since 2002. But I'm paying better attention lately and quite frankly, I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified to raise two kids to become high functioning adults in a postmodern world.

Thank God...that's not my job!!!

What I'm in the throws of learning is that my job is to train them to be a reflection of Jesus....and even that is mostly the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives. What I do is create an environment where they are exposed to Jesus, His people, His Word, His love...and I let Him do the rest. I'm not really the one in charge....it's up to Him. As we do Bible study at home, go to church, sing in the car, discipline them...it's all about what Jesus is doing and so little about what I am actually doing. He's got these kids....their hearts....already. Thankfully I get to play this small, but important role in giving them the tools to know Him better. But the growth...that part...it's between them and God...I can't make it happen.

Hebrews 11:6 says: But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

This verse has comforted me in times when I have felt overwhelmed with parenting. But the beautiful promise is that God rewards those who diligently seek Him. If there was ever an area in my life that I need to be seeking Him in...it's how to raise my kids. But I know who my God is...and He knows my name....and He is a rewarder of wisdom and of grace...of which I need in bulk daily. 

So, how about we spend just a little less time thinking about the dirty laundry and the dust bunnies and maybe a few more minutes in the "diligently seeking" department. In the end, there will be plenty of time to catch those bunnies and do the laundry...but these days...the ones we are living and breathing right this second.... are flying by... flying...by.

Choosing Us

I'm recording this moment in the event that in just a few short years I need a reminder that at some point in their lives....they chose us.

Mondays are fundays around our house. Bruce is off and we typically are recovering from a busy Sunday. Yesterday was no exception and so last night as we were deciding how we would spend Monday, we gave the kids several choices:

1. Go to the movies...get popcorn, drinks...the whole nine yards.

2. Pack up a picnic lunch and go to the local park and play.

3. Enjoy a PJ day with mom and dad, complete with games, netflix, wrestling (Tucker's request) and music.

Ding Ding Ding!!! They chose #3. As much as I would have enjoyed a movie, or even the 90+ degree heat....I was thrilled they chose us. We enjoyed a day of Apples to Apples, Mario Kart, practicing TKD, listening to Toby Mac, watching Saved by the Bell and a yummy dinner of homemade spaghetti and salad. Truly a day we all needed. Oh, and yes, Tucker (7yo) and Bruce (42) had their wrestling match. The loser can hardly walk....I'll let you guess who that is.

So...in the future..when I'm wondering if they ever really enjoyed being at home, with us, I'm coming back here...to remind myself...one Monday...they chose us!

It's All About the Money....

As a kid I remember the first "big ticket" item I saved my money to purchase. It was in the Service Merchandise catalog. It was $36.99. It was a gold banded Timex watch, that looked a little like THIS (except in 1987 14ct gold). I was 13 years old. I had barely started babysitting and jobs were few and far between. It seemed like every time I earned ten bucks my parents were reminding me to tithe and save. Spending wasn't really talked about...like most kids I didn't really have any trouble doing that!

Now it's time for me to start really teaching my own kids about money and I can hear my mom and dad's voice in the back of my head....tithe, save...then spend. It's true....I sound a lot like my mom these days. So, I've been trying to talk to Savannah and Tucker about how to manage their meager money. Along with mastering percentages, Savannah is learning to think about purchases more before she makes them. She's signed up for discounts at her favorite stores and receives the occasional e-coupon on her iPod touch. She's making progress, but still needs much, much, much guidance....and I need a recorder with my parents voice ringing out "tithe, save, spend."

Tucker's a whole nother story....at 7 years of age he barely understand that we don't have a money tree growing in the back yard. I've started paying both the kids for EXTRA chores at home. He is understanding that when he works he gets paid and when he doesn't ...no money exchanges hands. He enjoys earning a quarter here and there and is ready to open a back account for all his cash (his words).

There are plenty of resources out there to help us teach our kids about money. If we don't teach them, someone will. The world's methods of dealing with money is to borrow, borrow, borrow. But as Christians, we know God's Word teaches against that. So, if I am going to do my job well, I've got to instruct them according to God's word. Here are a few resources that might be helpful as you do the same:

Dave Ramsey's Junior Clubhouse

Compass has two great books The ABC's of Handling Money and The Secret to Handling Money God's Way.

Crosswalk.com has a great article about talking about money with your kids.

Money Matters for Teens

Just because your family may not have a lot of money (its all relative anyway) doesn't give us as parents the excuse not to teach them about money. If we don't do it somebody will. I don't know about you, but, I've looked around and am pretty sure the world doesn't know how to do it God's way.

Your Home Under Fire

I was reminded today at lunch that my home is under fire.

A godly woman spoke the words I've thought a thousand times.

"There is no place Satan wants in more than your home." 

Within the walls of our homes are the things that most women cherish the most...our husbands and our children. Not much else matters when counting our tangible blessings. But, what I've been pondering lately is what can I do to protect and shelter my home from the fiery darts of the enemy. I know that the world is wrestling for my kids and my husband...and me, but I want, within the walls of our home, for there to be some sense of safety. A sheltering place, a refuge, a place where we've prepared and prayed and planned for the distractions of this world to be less.

Is it possible?

I don't know. (I say that a lot). I guess there are no guarantees but I'd like to think that God would honor our efforts to prepare our homes as a sanctuary for holiness, as a place where Satan and his agents are not welcomed by invitation. Here are a few things that we're working on at our home to safeguard our greatest treasures.

1. Pray together... at meals, at bedtime, at devotions, when you hear a siren, when someone is sick, when something good happens, when you're fearful. Pray out loud together. This models for your kids that you go to God in everything. I found out a neat little tidbit at the end of the school year with my kids. Bruce always took the kids to school since I left to teach so early. He was out of town towards the end of the year and we were riding together to school and one of the kids piped up that it was their day to pray. Seems that they had been taking turns praying on the way to school all year long. Way to go dad!

2. Censor your media viewing...Whether it's TV, magazines, music videos, the internet. I've been too lax in this area in the past. Although we've had a boundary it hasn't been near what it should be and unfortunately many of the attitudes and actions and vocabulary that kids pick up are influenced heavily by TV. So, earnestly pray about and be aware of what your kids watch...and what you watch too. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you're untouchable. The attitudes of the enemy are not selective when he throws his fiery darts.

3. Talk about issues. The dinner table is a great place to talk about what's going on in the world (given that your kids are a little older). Healthy debate and biblical foundations can be formed and polished if you know how God's Word applies to issues. This not only helps your kids form a Biblical worldview, it also keeps the up to date with current events and issues that they may be faced to defend of take a stand against. Home is a great place to practice defending your faith.

4. Keep perspective of eternity. There's an old saying that says "Don't be so heavenly minded that you're no earthly good". I've meet people through the years (and might have actually been that person in some instances) that knew so much about what God's word had to say, yet the way they conveyed their information was so contrary to the love filled way God presents Himself. We can't grow weary in doing right. God's word tells us we will reap what we sow. However, if all I do is produce a generation of children that knows the legalities of God's word without the heart knowledge of Christ Jesus, I may instead raise a generation of arrogant, self consumed, holier than thou kids, who only know rules and not grace. Eternity is about grace. Remember that.

5. Treasure you time with your spouse. If like most couples, it's not near as much as you would like, but nevertheless, don't underestimate the power of a thirty minute talk over the grill, 15 minutes of quiet time before the kids get up or a once a month date night. Satan wants nothing more than to get you so busy so that you can't fit time with your spouse in your schedule. It's those moments spent in conversation or just in quiet comfort that your relationship is renewed, strengthened and made more fireproof. Neglect this point and you'll probably move from happy to lonely to looking for something to fill your heart vacancies...and that's where you'll need the fire department...because your home will be under fire.

Of course this list isn't exhaustive. We could talk for hours about ways to safeguard our most valuable commodities. I'm wondering, what would you add to the list.... share it in a comment.

Music To My Ears

Music plays a regular role in our home....always has. I remember shortly after we were married Bruce came home telling me about this stereo system a friend of his had and was selling...and how we really needed it....and the bass amplifier and the tape deck and the 3 disk CD changer. (I realize I am dating myself a tad). So he told me how much we could pay each month and we  he decided this was a good idea. Thus rekindling his love affair with the Bee Gees, Don Williams, Chicago, REO Speedwagon, The Gatlin Brothers and pretty much any artist I hadn't developed a taste for. We were sooooo opposites when it came to music.

But today...after almost 18 years of marriage we tend to agree on the sounds that make us the happiest. Like....

hearing our children pray....
.....the laughter as we tickle tiny toes....
the songs that fill the bathtub at wash time.....
....the clanging of pots and pans as children learn responsibility.....
the piano keys as they are pounded out ...
....the crashing of matchbox cars on the track....
the whispered goodnights...
...the "one more time" pleas
...the "I love you more" games....
...the echos of our own voices replicated in those tiny bodies

This music we agree on. The best, most beautiful, melodic...and yet somedays chaotic. This music fills our lives with much more than some 80's beat could ever manage. It represents the best...and sometimes the worst of us. It has the power to move us....to challenge us to do better...to laugh more...to invest more....to teach more...to pray more...to draw closer....to watch....to sing...to dance....just a little more. Because the music will change in just a few years...the station will play sounds of cars starting, boys calling, phones ringing....and while we will grow to love that music too....it will never be this station...this moment or this melody.

Thankful for today...embracing it.

Doing Hard Things

A couple of years ago I read a book entitled, Do Hard Things. This book is the personal story of two brothers whose parents weren't afraid of teaching their boys the value of hard work, determination, perseverance and goal setting. From school work, to chores, to Christian living....these boys have exceeded the average and excelled in areas that even most adults only dream of.

I've been thinking about my expectations of my own children and what I am teaching them by my life and by my instruction lately. We are out of school for three months and I don't want this to be a summer full of channel surfing and sun bathing. While there will be time for that, I want them to learn a little about teamwork, hard work and determination. So, we started with some simple chores yesterday.

Scrubbing down cabinets

 Does Anyone Else have a tupperware cabinet that looks like this?????

All in all this lesson only took about 20-30 minutes, but let me tell you what was neat to see later in the day. When Bruce got home he asked the kids what they had been up to and they were eager to tell him about their chores they had helped with. There was a certain pride in learning to organize and scrub....and doing something a little more difficult than just making a bed or gathering laundry....which yes, they still have to do!

So....here's a question....What kind of chores to do have your kids do? Do you think it's important to teach them harder things (in all areas) or can it wait til they are older and bigger? I'd love to hear your thoughts on these points. 

Borrowed Things

When God let me borrow these two little lives I could never have imagined the emotions they would bring out in me. From extreme and overwhelming joy, to anxious moments, to protective mechanisms I didn't know where in me....He's ordained all these moments. And I'm thankful. 

I know their roads will be rocky, but I'm praying that they will always stay rooted in the word of God. Claiming His promises in every season of life. And when they stray that they will always remember and never forget how deep the Father's love is for them.

The Hard Stuff

"Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love." Somebody smart said that.

Because on this blog you get the good, the bad and the funny, I know you'll understand when I say that sometimes your parents words come back to haunt you....and that's sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes it's funny.

Did your folks ever say:

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? Yeah....that's the one that's haunting me tonight. It's been a rough day....and unfortunately  fortunately I think some lessons have been learned. For me....I totally got that hurting feeling you feel when you know you've disciplined your child, but it's been painful for both of you. Yes, there were tears, hugs, talking, guidance and for us, prayer.

Prayer.

Together and separately. While I was praying for wisdom, peace, guidance and direction, I'm pretty sure my child was probably praying for a pardon. But not this time. Nope. This was the time that we had to deal. And it was hard. And it was unpleasant. And it hurt me as much as it did them. And I don't want to ever have to do it again. But I will. Probably sooner than I want to think about. Because discipline and punishment are part of growing and becoming and learning and maturing and loving.

And I do love my kids.
And my God who told us how to handle this delicate hard stuff.

Thank you Lord.

Things I'll Miss

As I was cleaning the house a little today I almost got frustrated with some of the clutter that seems to appear on a daily basis. Then I remembered how quickly the years are flying by and that actually these things that might frustrate me now, will be some of the very things that I miss the most. My list looks a little something like this:

I'll miss...

1. Matchbox cars lined up on the edge of the bathtub where Tuck has lined them up to dry off after a splash in the bath with him.

2. Savannah's many markers and other writing utensils that I find in every nook and cranny in the house. What a creative little chick she is becoming.

3. Fighting over the computer with my kids. They both love investigating and surfing....almost as much as me!

4. Laundry....every last piece. As I was doing the mountain of laundry this week I was thinking about how much my kids have grown this year alone. Jeans I bought Tucker at the beginning of the school year barely fit him now....and I wonder have I done what I could to help him grow in the love and admonition of His heavenly Father too.

5. Happy Meal toys....or the like. My feet are like magnets to these little things! On the floor at midnight seems to be the most likely place my feet me them!

These are just a few of the things I was thinking about today as I worked around the house. Those moments that sometimes frustrate me the most turned into a little time of reflection and nostalgia when I remembered how far God's brought this little foursome of mine. He's been so faithful and good. These things I'll miss will grow and grow as the kids do, but hopefully we will be embracing each of those seconds with love and care...being careful not to miss them and the opportunities each one brings.

How 'bout you? Anything you'll miss?

5 Simple Rules

Dear Children,

On Friday we will be leaving to go see Jojo and Pops. It's going to be a long trip - nearly 800 miles. So here are a few things that might help the trip go smoothly. Feel free to use them.

1. Go to the bathroom at every stop your father makes. Goodness knows he won't be stopping any extra so save yourself and your bladder the pain of needing to "go" and take advantage of every.single.stop.

2. Stay on your side of the car. I know at the beginning you will think you want to sit right next to each other...but before long someone will start complaining about the other one breathing his/her air, or touching them, or looking at them...do us all a favor and stay on your side.

3. It will take us 14 hours to get there. So until we are at hour 13 please do not ask, "Are we there yet?", "How much further?" or any alteration of these phrases. Thank you.

4. You can help pass the time by reading, watching videos, listening to music, playing the license plate game, the count the road kill game...but please....do not read the billboards in Louisiana. There are things that happen there that only they should know about.

5. Remember just because you play your music loud in your headphones, doesn't mean you have to sing loud too. Dad and I have heard just about all we can stand of the Jonas Brothers, PureNRG, Imagination Movers and Handy Manny. We're good just to ride in the complete silence the car affords us.

And remember....we're just as anxious as you to get there!!!

Running-Reaching-Resting

Three little words that fit nicely below the "Journaling Gina" blog title.  They perfectly describe this life that I've been given. And lately- I've been doing some thinkin' about this life....a lot!

I was spurred to thinking more deeply about all this after a sermon by missionary Brent Williams (to Peru). He and his sweet family are making our church and town home for their year of furlough. Bruce and I went to college with Brent and Miriam so it's been great to re-connect after all these years. Brent spoke about how we (Christians)  are so consumed with having the next latest and greatest that we (in general...maybe not you, but certainly me, sometimes) get caught up in working too hard (on anything not eternal) and not hard enough on putting a priority on family. He gave some extremely interesting stats on families that eat together and the positive way this influences children. I was stunned.

Being a homeschooling family I have let myself off the hook more times that I'd like to admit when it comes to "family" issues- After all....I HOMESCHOOL! I am with my kids 24/7. But in the quietness of a sanctuary a couple of Sunday evenings ago, I realized that I've let some priorities get out of whack. Some of my good intentions have taken a back burner and some of them remained in the intentions pile. Laziness has crept in to areas that I'd rather not think about and discipline in my life has taken a back seat. You see raising kids has as much to do with me being disciplined as it does them being disciplined!

So, I have been using the last couple of weeks to evaluate some things. I am seeking God's plan in this life He's given me. Running a godly household with Bruce, reaching for GOD's HAND and Resting in the plan HE has for MY family is a daily goal. I don't need to keep up with the Jones', I don't need to be so busy that my family falls by the wayside. I need to model a Godly family, be wise with what God has entrusted me with, shine a light from the corner of my street so that what I say matches what I live and unbelievers can see the difference HE can make in their homes too.

So this new year...there's gonna be more cooking and less fast food, more reading and less TV, more discipline for me...and probably the kids (they will LOVE that)  and more focus on breaking the stronghold of materialism, worldliness and busyness.....all with the help of the Savior.

So, I'd like to know something from you....what's something you are going to do differently with your family for the coming year? Leave me a comment...I'd love to know!