Returning to the Call

It's been 7 months almost to the date. 

Bruce resigned a church that we loved with all our hearts. And I thought I couldn't breath. 

I was 16, a scrawny teenage girl, attending youth camp in Tennessee, when I gave my life to Jesus to do whatever He wanted. I already knew....I wanted to be a pastor's wife. I wanted to wear the pretty clothes my childhood pastor's wife wore, I wanted to sing like her, I wanted to walk proudly beside my husband and I wanted to pray for people at the altar. That's what I thought her life was all about.

Fast forward less than 10 years down the road and I was traveling with Bruce to begin living the dream....our first church pastorate...13 people and a tiny white building with a little yellow parsonage in the back. I was in heaven. Since then, 20 plus years have passed. 2 other churches and the 16 year old girl with dreams of ministry is nearing 46 and in the last 7 months has dealt with the realities of ministry. Ministry is hard...but God is faithful to walk every single step with me. 

Tomorrow we move to a new town. New church. New faces. New ministry. I feel like a junior high student....nervous, excited and a little clumsy. But God has this. He has carried me through the darkest time of my life and brought me out to walk in truth. And the truth is, God has called us. God wasn't through with us. God, in His sovereignty, has worked what I thought was tragedy into something beautiful. God has protected my family. My children's faith has grown and we have been humbled by the things the Lord has allowed us to experience. He has been better than good to us. 

I could dwell on the bad...cause there's been some.

I could meditate on the disappointments...cause there's been some.

I could count my losses...but honestly I can't count that high. 

It has been painful.

But in every surrendered situation...God can bring beauty from ashes. And He has done that...the masterpiece maker has been busy. 

Thanks be to God for calling a scrawny 16 year old girl. 

PS...ministry is way more than pretty clothes and walking with your pastor husband and praying with people at the altar. Mrs. Jackson made it look so easy....yet, I am sure she struggled with everything I have. What grace she walked in! 

An Open Letter to Ministry Personnel

Dear Ministry Personnel,

We've been in ministry for twenty years. First in Springfield, Mo, where we worked quietly in our church while finishing college and then full time in several churches. Fourteen of those years as the Senior Pastor (and wife). If I could describe our ministry experience over the last twenty years in one word, I would say, "blessed", not because it's been flawless, but because we have had godly men and women investing and breathing truth and light into our lives. I truly believe this, along with God's protective hand, has sheltered us from a world of hurt so common to those in ministry. It's been God's grace all the way.

So, when my husband signed us up to go to Don and Sheryl Rooks's Ministry Conference that specializes in dealing with the stress involved in ministry, I balked. I even told him I didn't need that "touchy feely stuff". Besides I knew that my kids would be at camp the week before the conference and I didn't want to be apart from them that long. Two weeks is a long time in this momma's mind. I also came up with about 200 excuses and actually had hoped that a snake would bite me while I was at my mom's house in Georgia two weeks ago, thinking for sure, that could get me out of this. Yes, I'm so mature.

Well, the snake didn't bite and my sister in law suggested a mini-vacation for the kids and so my excuses and solutions had run dry. So, on Monday afternoon we checked ourselves into the hotel and settled in for a week long waste of time....so said me. I didn't need this.

Sometimes we don't know what we need until we are faced with a few quiet minutes and a crazy person like Don Rooks (and a few of his wise friends) to help us figure things out. Before Monday evening concluded I knew God had something for us at the conference. No, we didn't come in with any major issues, our marriage is good, our kids still love us, we had four great parents, we have dealt with our legalistic upbringings at times in the past, we love our church, we don't have a history of abuse but there was something here for us....So how could this conference help us??? Thanks for asking.

First of all, as stated numerous times by the facilitators of the conference, they would much rather deal in prevention than recovery. The tools on forgiveness and church dynamics that we learned this week will be tools we will implement in our ministry and counseling and our own family. We were reminded constantly that God loves us regardless of our past, present or future choices. No matter what. Who doesn't need to be reminded of that? We gained insight to dealing with our kids, who no matter how much I try to shield them from the hurts of the ministry, they will eventually feel the shrapnel from the explosives that come our way. Not to mention the enormous skill set that was present during each sessions. We learned about paradigms, abuse recovery, church family, hurt, parenting and so much more.

I can think of only one word to describe my attitude and resistance before the conference...PRIDE. And I humbly dare say, it might be what's keeping you from attending one of the conferences. We treated it like a wellness check at the doctor. We let them poke and prod and most of the time it didn't hurt us too bad...but every once in a while something would be said and I'd say "Ouch!" and I'd know that was an area I needed to check out with God. We are all flawed. We all struggle. We all have stuff.

Yes, it's a long week. Yes, it's going to stretch you. Yes, you might realize that you have some stuff to deal with. Yes, you will be stronger when you leave. Yes, you will be more healthy to serve your family and church. Yes, it will be worth every second of the time you spend there. Yes, you will leave encouraged and better equipped to deal with forgiveness, abuse, addictions and other relevant issues in the church.

Now, I'm thankful in the biggest way that I got to attend. I feel more credible and more confident in my calling as a pastor's wife and I love the encouragement Bruce received from godly counsel. In fact, it NOW seems foolish that I'd want a snake bite instead of this (...duh.)

The conference is totally supported by people who love this ministry. I can think of very few ministries that benefit the body of Christ like this one does. So, we need to be throwing our resources its way. Hotel rooms, conference rooms, food, travel, printed materials...these things cost money. Can you support them (message me for more information on that if you're interested)? And might I boldly say, that our fellowship of churches is only fooling themselves if they don't think they need a ministry like this as part of our affiliation. I think anyone who has attended the conference would agree. Our churches are eaten up with dysfunction, abuse, addictions and unforgiveness. This is a tool to fix those debilitating diseases.

Lastly, I'd like to thank the facilitators who selflessly give their time to pour into the lives of others in ministry. These godly men and women were a safe landing place for those who needed to pour their heart and soul out to someone. I have a deep respect for the amazing work they do.

Thank you!
Gina Stinson

Post Sunday Thoughts

Some Sunday's are better than others. Yesterday was one of those. Although it was one of the longest, busiest Sundays, God was busy.

1. I finished up teaching in the ladies Sunday school class at church. I've just been filling in while the teacher was out taking care of a family member who has been ill. These ladies have been such a blessing to me. Almost everyone of them is older than I am, so it was a little intimidating sharing my small amount of life experience with them. I discovered how thankful I am that when God's Word speaks it really doesn't matter who is doing the talking...He's louder. We have had some wonderful discussion over some of my favorite Psalms. I've been reminded just how much God cares for us. 

2. We had a musician's meeting after church. As always, when you get a group of creative minds together there are plenty of opinions and dreaming and ideas. I am thankful for the people God has placed together to mesh worship ideas together. I loved hearing a 15 year old young man share his ideas, as well as hearing the ideas of the oldest member of the group. It's beautiful when the body of Christ is working towards the same goal of worshipping the creator. 

3. Savannah sang a solo in church for the first time. She has sung small parts in programs with the kid's choir backing her up, but this was her first time all alone on the big stage. She did so good (well, of course, I am her mom, so I would say that...but some other people said it too). She sang Jamie Grace's Lead Me On. 

4. During the evening service we held our new/perspective members class. We had 11 people at the meeting. We enjoyed fellowship with them and with our officers and staff afterwards. I love those people and their sweet and fun personalities. 

When we finally got home it was close to nine or maybe after...not really sure. We all got in our jammies and vegged on the couch for a little bit. We rehashed the goodness of God on our day and reflected a little on what God is busy doing in our own lives. Bruce talked about the sermon, a meeting with our Caraway Worker's and Savannah rehashed her piano lessons from the day. Tucker told on himself and got a little extra sermon on kindness and compassion. And slowly but surely we all realized how tired we were...

But, as tired as we are post Sunday...we are so very thankful that we get to do this amazing job. 

On Being the Pastor's Wife

I rarely talk about the stress of being a pastor's wife. My main reason? Because I am truly so incredibly, almost indescribably thankful that God has called Bruce and I to serve Him this way. Hopefully, I would be just as thrilled and thankful if He had called me to do something else....because I don't really believe one job is more important than any other if you're totally willing to do what God wants you to at that job.

However, I do believe there are stresses involved in ministry that (humbly speaking) only other people in the same shoes as you can fully understand. I would also say, this is true for whatever job you have. For instance, the stay at home mom has stresses that no one understand except others who also stay at home full time. The garbage man has to meet deadlines and deal with issues we don't even know about. We often find ourselves wishing for different roles, but let's be honest, every role involves it's own stress, deadlines, time restrictions....

I was looking at a few blogs the other days trying to find the right Bible study for the ladies at my church this winter. In my searching I came across this article about a pastor's wife who had committed suicide just days ago.  It broke my heart. On the outside, everything looked fine, people believed she could change the world, she was successful, a mom, a grandmother, business owner, creative pastor's wife. And as I sat there reading, I thought of the many women I know that are juggling the weight of the world or their family or their church or their business on their shoulders....and realize how quickly it can all change.

I don't know what prompted this pastor's wife to commit suicide. I don't have to know. What I do know is that sometimes, in ministry and other places, people can be mean, the enemy can feed us lies, we can believe them, the burden of keeping up a spiritual appearance can be more than we can handle, we can get depressed, discouraged and completely consumed with negative, destructive thoughts. And those thoughts lead to actions...and sometimes even death.

Thankfully Jesus Christ is the answer to all those overwhelming thoughts that can consume us quickly. His Word provides every single answer that we need to overcome this world. Yes, counselors help (my mom is a great one) but she will tell you in a heartbeat, the root of all these negative actions is our own sin or the consequences of someone else's sin. The enemy wants us to get bogged down and discouraged and depressed and overcome. And in ministry...where you give of yourself, your time, your talents and your husband and yes, even of your children, it can become too much.

My heart aches for the many people I know that have been hurt in ministry. Imperfect people, who at some point in their lives felt God asking them to surrender all and go, preach, baptize and make disciples for Me, feed My sheep, take up your cross and follow Me. It's sad to watch them walk away from that call, that commission, that zeal they once had.

But what can we do? I have no real answers...on suggestions...but maybe if we become a more loving, caring body of Christ, that extends God's grace to those in leadership and those in the pew. Not ignoring or turning the other way when we need to address sin, but lovingly facing each other in agape love, shoulder to shoulder, iron sharpening iron, building up and strengthening each other, not esteeming ourselves higher than the other. Growing, learning and loving. Maybe if we have a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit's leading in our lives to say an encouraging word, extend our arms to hug each other, offer a shoulder to cry on or lean on. Maybe we would see more people totally willing and excited about giving their all to Christ's service.

And for those in ministry, my heart screams out sometimes to CHEER UP! God could have called anyone to do your job but He called you! Be excited about what God is doing around you. Be in love with the Savior. Let people know He's the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. Be glad that your job happens to be helping care for the sheep....the beloved sheep...the bride of Christ....the church. What a responsibility to take hold of! Look at life through eternity's eyes. Don't be easily offended or you'll never make it! Give people room to mess up...after all isn't that what we all want...a little grace? Be REAL.....and smart. Let people know you're human but be smart enough to realize some will use this against you. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. He's strong...He can carry you...your burdens, your failures, your children and spouse, your thoughts.....all of it. He's got it.

As for this family who has suffered such loss. I'm praying that someone close to them is being the body of Christ during this gut wrenching time. No matter the circumstances, she was a mom and a wife and a grandmother who leaves behind people with questions and heartache. May God's peace envelope them.

Under Attack!

Ever feel under attack? Bruce and I made a decision years ago that Sunday mornings would not be the enemy's victory ground. You see, even before we had kids Sunday mornings always seemed to be the time that we would argue over small, unimportant, petty....even stupid things. It would be the time where the blow dryer would stop working or the iron would give out or the hem would be out in a pair of suit pants or the power would go out. It just seemed we couldn't make it to church without something terrible or irritating happening.

So, 16 years ago when Bruce started pastoring we decided to figure out a way that this Sunday morning havoc wasn't ruining our attitudes and actions before the day really got started. We started laying out and ironing all our clothes on Saturday nights. We started limiting what we did and how late we stayed out on Saturday evenings. We went to bed at a decent hour. Bruce started leaving earlier on Sunday mornings and I would have the house to myself and the kids so that his mind was at ease and in tune without having to worry about finding kids shoes or a blow dryer malfunctioning.

Sound silly? Well, maybe it is, but it's what it takes for us to arrive at church on Sunday mornings without the traditional fight on the way, or angry looks, or mismatched socks. It just took some intentional planning on our part. It works for us.

Sometimes when fighting the enemy we have to remember that the enemy isn't the spouse or the kids or the blow dryer or iron or _______. It's the prince of darkness...the one who is after your peace and your mind and your hope and your marriage and your contentment and your hope and your Sunday mornings. He wants it....bad. He knows if he can rob Bruce and me of a peaceful Sunday morning, he can distract Bruce from presenting a clear presentation of Christ....he can get him flustered and most of all hinder his worship of the Giver of all good and perfect gifts. The enemy is after you....he hates you.

Take the extra measure of attention to put up the barriers, to fight the good fight, to protect your family. It's worth the odd looks, the inconvenience and the early Saturday nights. Someone asked me once, "so how long are you going to do your Saturday night routine?" I don't know. What I do know is that it's way more important for my family to arrive at the church building in harmony with each other and ready to worship than it is to arrive with a plastered smile, a fake hallelujah and a look that could kill. So if it means we're home every Saturday night until eternity, it's OK with me.

Guard yourself...protect your family, filter your computer, monitor your kids TV (and your own), read your kids text messages if you need to....because your enemy is seeking whom he may devour.