Remembering Logan

Today is the one year anniversary of Logan Matak. You might remember when I wrote this about him . I think mostly about the huge void left in the lives of his mom, dad, brother and sisters....and really everyone who knew him. What a loss for us here on earth....but what a gain for Logan. It's hard in my earthly mind to think there is anything greater than getting married, having kids, enjoying this life- even on my most spiritual days it's hard to fathom just how much BETTER heaven is going to be. I've tried thinking of the most perfect day and all I know is that HEAVEN will be BETTER.

Logan is experiencing that. Those chills that run down my arm when I am listening to a song of worship to my Lord.....Logan is getting to experience first hand....he's there!!! The feeling of great comfort I've been given over circumstances...even his own death...He gets to be in the very presence of that great COMFORTER. He's there...worshipping and probably wondering what all the big fuss is about him here on earth. We miss him. We miss his sweet, generous spirit. We miss watching him play baseball. We miss fishing trips, corny jokes, his special little trick he did and his love for the downhearted and hurting.

But....we are not without gentle reminders of the things that are eternal about Logan. His spirit. His love for Jesus. His love for people. His desire to honor God. So, for all those, who like me, are thinking of Logan today, I hope the good far exceeds the sorrow. I'm thankful this is not the end.

Whirlwind of a Week

Thankfully this week is coming to a close. Ever had one of those horrible, terrible, no good, very bad days? Try a week of them and let me know how you're doing! I'm glad tomorrow begins a brand new week. It won't erase the pain of last Monday. In fact, that's sort of the oddity of God's sovereinty. I am confident, God has everything sorted out about the hundreds or more people who have pain because of Logan's death. God's big enough to handle our tears, our questions, our worries, our emptiness, our lack of faith, our anger. In fact, he says to bring your burdens to Him and He will give you rest. Rest. -Something that hasn't come easy to me these past few days. In the sorrow I find comfort only in the fact that Logan Matak knew Jesus. Much more often are the questions, the sadness, the empathy for his family, the sadness for his friends. I go from laughing about Logan's silliness to crying because life was taken so early. I rejoice in the impact his life and death had on others for the cause of Christ, and I turn around and in the same breath of joy, hold back tears of grief because of the emptiness his death leaves in so many lives.

My randomness will soon return to normalcy. In time to come, things will get easier and there will be more joy than sadness. For his parents, my prayer is they find strength and comfort in the many hands and feet of Jesus that surround them, that the body of Christ will step up to the challenging task of bearing one another's burdens and that the community will know and love Jesus more- not less- because of this circumstance.

Losing Logan

Great grief struck our home today. Logan Matak, the sweetest natured young man I have ever met in my life, died in a horrible accident. I can't even describe the details because it hurts to much to think of it. I'm blogging because I have hope that one of his friends might stumble upon this and be encouraged. I'm blogging because for me, writing releases all the stifled emotions I have been holding in all day. Lastly, I'm writing to remember sweet, fun, silly, serious and reflective times that my family had with him.

Logan came into our lives before we had kids of our own. He came with a posse. Elizabeth, Philip, Lacey and Scott spent numerous hours at our home after ballgames, on Saturdays, between school years and any other time they wanted. I can't think of any time we turned them away. We played video games, watched Shrek, played cards, ate a ton of chili and talked. The conversation was sometimes rowdy, sometimes serious, sometimes funny.

Over the years, one thing has stuck out in my head about Logan. He loved deeply. You never had to wonder where you stood with him. He hugged freely, said "I Love You" regularly and treated people with respect. He was a hard worker and a dedicated friend.

I have shed a multitude of tears over the loss of Logan today...and I am sure many more will come. His short 24 years was gone too soon in my book. For me, my heart hurts, my stomach is in knots, I'm sad....for his family, his friends, for us. BUT, the glorious news of salvation reached Logan. His faithful friend for life, Philip, led him to the Lord and we know he's with Jesus. So, while earth cries out- heaven welcomes Logan. He's in Jesus' arms now. He's walking with the Savior. Waiting for us.