Scarred Up

I'm pretty scarred up... real scars from childhood injuries,
2 c-sections, some dermatology scars...
And each scar has a story...
Of how I survived. Each scar is a reminder that although there was pain and hurt there was also a time of recovery...
That in every situation I have healed and that scar is just a reminder of the healing that has taken place.
The same is true spiritually speaking... I have scars, hurts,
Bumps and bruises...
some my own fault and some, honestly, the fault of others. And yet, I'm learning I can pick at the scar and reopen the wound or I can use my story to help others heal too. I've often thought staying quiet about my scars was the key, but I'm realizing more and more that when the time is right to tell your story, God will make a way for you to tell of His healing, his recovery process,
His therapy for your soul... and His glory will be revealed in places and spaces you've never dreamed of. And that makes the scars worth it.

Part of Your Story

There are a few things in my past that I hate to include as part of my story. Things I am not proud of. Things that embarrass me. Things that I know have hurt me and those around me. I am not talking about sneaking and watching Children of the Corn when I was 11 or wearing culottes skiing in high school or even the time I wore my moms dress to school when I was in the 7th grade (she was out of town). While these are all things I would like to forget and certainly weren't among my shining moments, they pale in comparison to other shame-filled parts of my story.

Recently as I was reading the genealogy of Jesus, I noticed that both Tamar and Rahab were mentioned by name as part of Jesus' lineage. Both were harlots, prostitutes. And I wondered about why God would want them included in His Word and especially in the beautiful gospels telling of His precious son's birth.

Was it because He knew there would be those of us who were so spotted that we would need to know that God uses all kinds of people to accomplish His purpose? Was it so we would understand that flawed and imperfect people can be redeemed? Was it so God could prove that no one has done too much or strayed too far to be touched by Jesus? Was it so Jesus could share His story with others who had sinned the same way?

I don't know why...but I am sure glad that God found a way to included these women and that in His Word He didn't hide their names or gloss over their portion of the lineage. It was part of Jesus' story. It challenges me to find a way to share all of my story...not just the parts that are pretty and put together...but the parts where Jesus pulled me out of the trash of this world and let me know life with Him is more...more beautiful, more fulfilling, more adventurous, more peaceful, more honest, more loving....more than I could ever imagine.

Instead of letting Satan tell us we aren't good enough because of our past, let's find ways to bring glory to God by telling others how He saved us from ourselves! Satan and his forces have robbed us of enough..God ordered your story and although those parts that we are ashamed of can drag us down if we focus on ourselves, those same parts can lift our Lord up by sharing with others what a compassionate, long-suffering, faithful God we serve. We don't have to live in shame anymore! We have victory because of what HE has done! Now that's worth sharing!

Tough Love - Part 2

Relationships...the test of patience, the test of endurance and yes, the test of love.

As I get older I struggle sometimes with the energy that it takes to have relationships with those I love. Sometimes I'm tired and I don't want to exert the energy it takes to put into a relationship...even though I know in the long run that it will help it grow.

Sometimes I get frustrated with the dynamics of relationships...let's face it....some relationships we didn't choose. The people we are related to, work with, go to church with, stand in line at the grocery store with....not all of these would have been our ideal pick if we were setting ourselves up on a blind date!

And on the contrary....some people are easy to love. They work hard in the relationship to invest, counsel, love and care. We all love these people....we want more of them. We selfishly wish everyone was more like them.

But one of Christ's most challenging command was to "love your enemies...pray for those who despitefully use you". Well, isn't that....special. I'm sure Jesus couldn't have meant this....the haters, the gossipers, the users, the slanderers, the enemy....those people???....Pshhhhh...I don't think so!...Oh, but it is.

And it's hard.

Nearly impossible.

And sometimes, I don't want to do it.

I just don't want to put the effort forth.

Sometimes I'm hurt and disappointed and frustrated and it's easier to become like them....the enemy.

That's when it gets tough. And I am faced with the decision to love instead of hurt.

But it's more than that...I'm faced with the decision to obey Christ or disobey Christ. That's the more pressing issue on my heart. Do I love HIM enough to obey His commands? Do I love HIM enough to love my enemy? And what does that even mean? God's Word gives us a few ideas for loving our enemies.

1. Pray for them. Luke 6:28
2. Do not talk about their faults. I Peter 2:1
3. Set healthy God-honoring boundaries. Proverbs 22:24
4. Live peaceably with them. Don't stir up strife. Romans 12:18
5. Forgive them...whether they ask or not. Matthew 6:12

Notice this doesn't say...invite them on family vacation or for your kid's birthday party. Even God knows our limits. And while some hurts are shallow...others pierce the soul and body and in this life will never be completely forgotten. God gives us opportunities to love our enemies without them even knowing we are loving them. It's almost like loving our enemies changes us....more than it does them. Oh...wait...maybe that's His purpose anyway....Changing us through loving like He loves.

This is the tough love. This is the hard stuff. This is real love. Sort of like the love God has for me...except my love is still flawed. It's not perfect..I will fail...I will mess this up. But it's the kind of love we should all strive for...and with God's power...we can love our enemies.

Compromised

The other night I was trying to access my email from my "smart" phone and I repeatedly received a message that said my connection to the server was disabled. I am no techie, so my solution was to get the laptop out and see if I could access my account from there. So, I tried to log in and got this beautiful message:

YOUR ACCOUNT MAY HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED. CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD AND LOG IN AGAIN. FOR YOUR ONLINE SAFETY THE FOLLOWING APPS HAVE BEEN DISABLED: (and then it listed 4 of my most used apps for my phone)

I created a new password, logged in and reset my apps to my phone and within a few minutes all was well. Thankfully!

I was thinking about the message I received....how it is so true to real everyday life.

Don't you wish you could get a message when relationships were compromised....something that said BEWARE...UNSAFE...DANGER....BE CAREFUL? Something that would alert you to be more careful with your heart, your secrets, your pain? Something that would warn you to disable your soul and reset your passwords so people couldn't stomp all over your heart? Don't you wish it were as easy as changing a password, logging in and resetting your apps? Me too.

But the wonderful thing about hurt and heartache is that Jesus has already been down the road and set an amazing perfect example for how we are to live when we feel life has hacked its ugly way through and stolen our valuable information. If anyone knew about being used up, taken advantage of, hurt, heartache and pain, I think we can all agree, Jesus did. Here's what he had to say:

John 16:33- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


He also, in the very face of death, asked God to forgive those who nailed Him to the cross....those whose sin put Him there, those who mocked, who spat, who laughed. He said, "Father, forgive them....for they know not what they do." 

When you feel taken advantage of, it's true, most of the time the offender has no idea what they are really doing to you... they haven't thought ahead to how it's going to make you hurt or cry or how many hours you will spend wrapped up in the heartache of words or action. And many times, their actions weren't really thought out....they reacted in the flesh...did what felt good for the moment, did whatever made them look good and they didn't think how hurtful it would be if you knew....or if you found out...or if you heard. They...know not what they did.

So, if you're hurting, or struggling with hurt, Jesus says....expect it...but know that I have overcome it...I've conquered it. I've taken care of it. Rest in His peace. Forgive without being asked to and move forward. After all...someone did that for me and you...Jesus...our sins put him on the cross...we spat, mocked, laughed...we did it....and he begged to God for our forgiveness...he bled for our forgiveness....he gave his breath and life for our forgiveness. Thank you Jesus!