Confession

Yep...that's about it. The tree is still up...and right now there's no real plan to take it down. There was a plan last weekend, but that fell through. I actually love my tree and the glow and the coziness. I am not too lazy to take it down. I just like it. Now that it's the end of January well... now I'm rethinking my dream of a year round tree.

And don't be horrified distracted by the blue paint swatches. You'll be relieved to know the den will not look like a smurf, or a hospital or a nursing home or the sky. I was hoping for a nice grey blue color ..but all these look too polyester 70's tuxedo blue...so I am looking for a green I like now. Whew...glad we got that out in the open. 

Anyway...I hope we can still be friends now that you know my secret.

Last Days

I'm spending today...the last day of Christmas break....in my jammies, watching movies with the kids. Given my obsession with Christmas movies, I'm pretty sure I could do this for a month solid and not be finished...but unfortunately time has run out and I'll be back in the classroom tomorrow morning bright and early. This last day is bittersweet. I love this time with my kids and Bruce. I feel like I'm such a better wife and mom when I'm off from school. I cook more, keep things more orderly, take more time with the kids. I'm more patient, less uptight about schedules and bedtimes. I'm more me.

Something will happen at 6:05 in the morning when the alarm goes off. The last day will be behind me...the new day ahead of me. I'll ready myself physically and spiritually for the new day and I'll put my best foot forward to retain some of the "last day Gina" for my family and for myself. Don't get me wrong, I love routine, the steady everyday rhythm of our lives. I love waking up on Sunday's and knowing we will be in church together and knowing that Monday's is Bruce's day off every week. I love knowing that God is watching over us and protecting us and guiding us and loving us. I love those dependable qualities about my God and my life. So tomorrow as I stroll back into my routine I am going to aim to be more concentrated on the beautiful moments that Wednesday holds, looking for opportunities to embrace the me of the last days, all the while, searching for meaning in the ordinary and working hard not to fall into the trap of the mundane. I'll count my gifts and live a more grateful life for today. And maybe along the way merge a little of today...the last day...into everyday.

Recapping Christmas

One of the most memorable holidays I remember was New Years Eve 1999. I remember it because other than the birth of Savannah it was possibly the most sick I have ever been in my life. Diagnosis...FLU.

....That is....until this Christmas. Shortly after 10pm on Christmas Eve night, Bruce and I were sitting in the living room watching the news. Out of nowhere a sharp pain hit my stomach and to make a very long story short, I was in horrible pain for the next 24 hours, followed by mild pain over the following 24 and finally today...I'm feeling more human! My poor family suffered through with me...Bruce took care of all the cooking and cleaning up after Christmas and I laid on the heating pad, took pain killers and slept. I have NEVER been in that kind of pain EVER before. Tucker was left to guard mommy while Bruce and Savannah celebrated Jesus' birthday with our church family. Boy...this Christmas was nothing like I had planned!

But it reminded me that Christmas isn't about what we plan. It's not about the parties, or the traditions or even in some ways the church service. It's about Jesus...how He came. It's about a beautiful prophesy fulfilled and a heavenly angel and a virgin girl. It's about shepherds, wisemen, a star and a stable. In those quiet moments on my couch with Tucker on Sunday morning we talked about those things. We reviewed the story he's heard over and over. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. And...yes, we celebrated Christmas.

I hope you and yours celebrated Christmas wherever you were...however you were!

Pondering His Presence

Rev 1:8 and 22:13:  "'I am the Alpha and the Omega [the first and the last, the beginning and the end],' says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty"  (see also Isaiah 44:6).


As I read these scriptures earlier today I was reminded that He's been here all along...Isn't that a comforting thought. Nothing has happened that He hasn't seen. Nothing has gone unnoticed or ignored. He's been here... where I am...where you are....Emmanuel forever. 


When I'm feeling discouraged or lonely or like no one else on the planet could possibly understand how I'm feeling...I am calmed and comforted by the knowledge that there is nothing that is hidden from Him. He sees it all, His compassion feels it all, His mercy forgives it all, His grace covers it all. What a gift He is...a gift that keeps giving and giving and giving. 

When Your Year Changes Your Christmas

Bruce and I were talking about why this Christmas is different for us. Neither of us really need anything...even when we've talked about some big ticket items we both have seemed disinterested. Last night Bruce confessed ... this year is just different.

Don't get me wrong. We're enjoying the season. I love hearing Savannah play carols on the piano, Tucker singing right along. I love the wooden nativity the kids play with for hours. I love the musicals the kids have participated in at church and the caroling we've done, the parties we've attended and the shopping and hunting for just the right and perfect gifts. But as we've been talking we couldn't pinpoint the source of our "different" attitude.

Maybe it was our trip to Peru. Maybe it's been the tiny baby twin boys weighing only 2 and 1.9 pounds that has brought perspective and reminding us of our own real blessings that we have today. Maybe it's the thought of filling our lives with people and moments to cherish. Maybe it's the reality that a good friend will soon follow God's call across the country (and eventually the world). Maybe it's the reality of this year....full of ups and downs and the steadfastness of the Lord that has changed Christmas for us.

I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that I sit here pondering the tangible...the gifts, the food, the parties, the programs...I'm reminded that the tangible is good and fun but only a small glimpse of the eternal that Jesus was concerned about and if I'm not careful, I consume my life with only the things I can touch and see and forget that these things and events will pass away too quickly. And while I have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy all the festivities, I'm challenged to look a little farther than my own small world and to ponder the things Jesus cared most about....relationships, eternity, peace and hope for a world desperate for Him. And when my mind parks there for more than a moment, I'm reminded He is the greatest gift I've ever received or shared with anyone. He's the only thing that will keep giving long after the presents are unwrapped, dishes washed and put away and even after the energizer batteries are dead. He'll still be there....in Peru, in the NICU, in North Carolina, at the cemetery, in uncertainty and in joy. He'll still be there. Wrap your heart up in that beautiful promise that He is Emmanuel, God with us....today and always! And maybe just maybe Christmas will linger....the spirit of God with Us...for more than just one day this year.

The Same Story as Last Year

Last night as my family participated in the Live Nativity at our church, I urged Tucker (now 6 years old) to go listen to the Nativity Story being read near the stable. He sat down and listened for a few minutes and then came running toward me and said...

"Mom, they are reading the same story as last year". I chuckled and mentioned that it was because the story of Jesus birth is the whole reason we have Christmas. He shrugged his shoulder and went on his way.

He's six. And although I'm a little disappointed in his response, I know that as we teach him more about Jesus that he will come to understand the truth and the beauty of this wonderful season.

But...as I mulled the words over in my head last night... "the same story as last year" I wondered how many times have I acted like that. It's Christmas....Jesus Birthday....same story as last year. It's Christmas...all the hustle and bustle....the busyness....the gifts and presents...oh...yes, and then there's Jesus Birthday...same as last year. Or as I've listened to a sermon or read a devotion have I thought...I know this story....Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the angels, the shepherd and wise men and the star....blah, blah, blah. The same old story....again...just like last year and the year before and the year before. 


Just in case you're like me and there's been a time when the story hasn't meant as much to you as it should....take a moment to reflect on the beauty of that night in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago.

The no vacancy sign
The wooden feeding trough where Jesus would lay
A scared first time mother
The first cry of the Savior
Shepherds who heard the news first
Wise men who came from afar

Yes...I've heard the story time and time again....yes, I can practically recite Luke 2. But what difference has that night made in my life? What do I carry with me because of the promised fulfilled in a baby? What new thing have I learned because I listened to this same story as last year?

May I never get tired of hearing the same story as last year. May the familiar words bring comfort and peace. May I be reminded of the revealed promise in a tiny baby and may my heart be humbled by the Savior who came in all lowliness and humility to save a world that would reject Him and eventually nail Hm to a cross. His story doesn't get old. His story is one of the only things in this world that will last forever. It may be the same one I heard last year....but it's the only real thing about this season!

11 Carolers Caroling

Last week some homeschool friends of mine and I, along with our kids,  headed out to Christmas carol a few shut ins from our church. One of us had mapped the route, one of us had baked a few dozen cookies and one of us had chosen three familiar carols that our kids would know. We loaded up in two cars, drove into the country and there began our Christmas caroling adventure. (BTW, an adventure is anytime you have to turn around more than once because you aren't sure where you're going!)

Did you know that lonely has a face? Did you know that it knows no season? As we went from house to house I was so touched by the gratitude each of these senior citizens had for such a small...very small act of kindness. Of course they were touched to see the children. Of course it was nice to have some company for the few minutes that we were there. Of course they enjoyed the slightly too high key picked for singing Silent Night and the too low key picked for Away in a Manger....according to one lady the kids sounded better than what she hears on TV (made me laugh) then of course she retracted her statement saying she wasn't talking about our church television broadcast (I was cracking up!)

But what wasn't so expected were the tears that flowed freely down one particular shut-ins face. It nearly broke my heart. As we sang, she cried. When we finished she invited us in...and oh, how I wish we could have spend an afternoon visiting. But we were on a schedule and there wasn't time to make a day of it. Instead we all hugged her...and she hugged back...tighter...because...

Hugs don't come as often when you're stuck in your house.

My kids learned some valuable lessons that day that we discussed later as we gathered around the table that night:

1. We are grateful for the ability to get out and fellowship with other believers...especially this time of year.

2. There are things that we can do to minister to these beautiful people in their time of home boundness. We started thinking and making a list of things that even little kids can do.

3. We are going to make it a point to visit these sweet people more often this next year. We learned that loneliness doesn't know a season and that missing someone or being sick or just growing old is hard on  person.

4. We learned that God can use little children to minister.

5. We learned that it doesn't take much money, time or effort to brightens someone's day.

6. We learned just how much a hug means to someone who hasn't see another person in a week.

We all learned something...even me.