What Love Looks Like...

What love looks like at our house... 

11 pm run to Whataburger, because a lemon pie sure sounds good.
An “I love you” at the end of every phone conversation.
Switching the laundry over for someone who forgot they left a load in the washer.
A back rub.
Playing a favorite song on the piano.
Watching a mystery movie together.
Laughing at a lame joke.
Dancing together.. even tho Tucker is the only one with moves.
Praying together.
Crying together.

Cleaning up dog puke when you could pass the job off to someone else.
Making dinner on Saturday nig
hts.
Talking to each other.
Celebrating successes.
Learning from failures.
Cheering each other on after a bad day or week. 

See love isn’t always wrapped up in the ways the world would chose you to believe today. Sometimes it’s in a 5 inch Whataburger lemon pie and sometimes it’s when your spouse takes your car to be washed and vacuumed without you asking. It’s not wrapped up in sex. It’s not what you see on tv. It’s not Hallmark movies or porn or soap operas or The Bachelor or even This is Us. 

Real love loves when the hair turns grey, the weight changes, the money is thin, the health fades, the mind slips, the arguments fly. Real love keeps loving... it doesn’t runaway because things just aren’t working out, or because someone has fallen out of love.

Real love loves like Jesus. Unconditionally, wholeheartedly, infinitely. Real love endures, sacrifices and is generous. 

We only know how to love well if we know Jesus... we love because he loved us first. He set the example...he lived, he loved, he sacrificed, he kept his promises, he’s coming back... what an example to love and live like He did...
Not just on Valentine’s Day ... but everyday! 

#goals

Wifi, Air-conditioning and Generosity

I John 3:16-18 - By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Currently my family is living at the hand of the generosity of others...
Literally, our housing, some of our meals, our laundry services, the care of our dog, even wifi, Air conditioning and tv... we are experiencing at the hand and wallet of someone else... and it is so humbling to be receiving at the expense and somewhat inconvenience of someone else. It feels wonderful and awkward and overwhelming and so very kind. 

This generosity is coming from people who know what it's like to be displaced. Hurricane Harvey ravished this area and most people we are getting to know have been impacted. These are people who even 9 months later are still recovering, cleaning, helping and rebuilding. These aren't people who have recovered completely. They are just making available what they have to help others. 

It's a picture perfect example of how God's Word teaches us to be generous. God was generous in His gift of salvation, various churches we're generous to Paul, the widow was generous with her mite...once we realize what we've been given spiritually, we can't help but overflow with generosity. 

Over and over we see the lessons of generosity taught in scripture. And it's not just in material things... we are to be generous in our forgiveness, in our love, in our encouraging words. We are to be overly kind and understanding and helpful.

And in contrast we are to be slow to wrath and anger and harsh words. Slow to speaking our minds. We are to rethink criticism and listen twice and much as we speak. Negative words carry a heavy weight and we need to think before we attack.

The generous person has learned to give as part of their nature. They don't sit around calculating the cost of their generosity. They give without giving it a second thought. 

I'm thankful we serve a generous God and I'm thankful for the generous people that through the years have blessed me and my family. The Biblical art of generosity is slowly fading with the rise of the "me first" attitude, But as we study God's Word and learn to be more like Him we can become more generous with our words, kind deeds, financial giving and helping those in need. ----Even if that just means sharing your wifi with the preacher's wife.

Love and Hate

Proverbs 8:13- Let those who love the Lord hate evil.

I am quick to tell you I don't have this parenting thing figured out. At the end of most days I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the influence the world has over my kids, society, the church, my home and the lost. I hate the evil in the world. 

I watched yesterday as yet another social media source was exposed for its graphic content. The shootings in our schools are outrageous. The drug and alcohol epidemic is rampant and my list of finger-pointing sins could go on and on and on. Some of these things (and other evils in this world) I don't have any control over and yet some, admittedly, I do. 

But here's the thing. Christian parents have boxed evil into "really bad things", while ignoring the small, baby steps that led us to the "really bad things". For instance, Savannah was about 3 (now nearly 16) when I noticed how a popular children's TV channel was dumbing down all adults, but especially dads. The casual and humorous disrespect of adults was subtle but it was there. The irreverence towards the home and the rise of childhood, tween and teen "wisdom" began to be more prevalent. And now, it's no wonder that these 15-18 years olds that we allowed to be indoctrinated by culture and TV are the same ones thinking they know best about just about everything. 

Here's what I am saying. It starts small. And somewhere in all this our love for God has to spur us on to hate evil. And if we don't hate the evil that is enticing our children (and us), do we really love God? I know I am asking a hard question...believe me, I am asking myself too. Bruce and I struggle like most parents to find the balance between holy living and being in this world but not of it. But I am asking myself this question today...Do I love the Lord? Because if I do, His word tells me I will hate evil. Hate...a word that is strong and powerful...a word that we've become accustomed to feel ashamed for saying in today's society for fear of being told we are unaccepting, intolerant or uninclusive. But God's Word trumps the world's word...He says...if you love me, hate the evil...hate the things that I hate, hate the things that entice your children to love anyone, anything more than me. 

We've got to wake up. Evil creeps in and wants to steal our kids by the age of 3-4. Right after the lullabies stop, the evil in this world will be enticing our babies. It's happening. Let's love the Lord enough to hate the evil. And although I don't have all the answers, I know we can start by being more aware and not being afraid to be.the.parent. We can also practice loving the Lord together as families by worshipping and talking about the Lord not just at church, but in everyday conversations that keep the doors open to talk about the hard things kids face today.

I don't know about you but I am so tired of hearing of our kids being sucked into the evil of this world. Let's get back to teaching them to love the Lord. Let's get back to hating evil. Let's get back to paying attention.

Tucker's Dating Advice

Our church is hosting a Parent's Night Out for Valentines. 

Tucker (age 10) has some dating advice for those men who will be taking their lovely ladies out...I thought I'd share ...more for my enjoyment (and memory) than anyone else!

1. Drop the kids off at church.

2. Go out to eat someplace nice. Not McDonalds. 

3. After you eat...if the meal was good...give each other a hug.

4. Then go to someplace like Braums for ice-cream. 

5. If you are not married this is when you have to take your date home. 

6. If you are married, go home, get in your comfy clothes, sit on the couch and watch a romantic movie. You should pop some popcorn too. Try not to fall asleep.

7. Don't forget the kids...you still have have to pick them up from the church!

What My True Love Looks Like

I hardly ever talk about my marriage relationship. Pretty sure I don't want to gag anyone with my bragging on how great Bruce is....but, whatever, it's Valentines Day and it seems like maybe you could cut me a little slack or take an Imodium if you feel nauseated...so here goes!

True love...

1. True love realizes that I am not perfect and so instead of pointing out and keeping track of my mistakes...he manages to help me laugh at myself and find humor in the everyday.

2. True love realizes that I know nothing about cars and so instead of even asking me to register it, change the oil in it, change the wiper fluid in it, or even clean it out....He takes care of it. About all I do is gas it up....and most of the time I don't do that...he does.

3. True love helps with house work because I help with church work. We both feel equally called to home and church. I LOVE that about Him.

4. True love is invested in our kids. He spends time with them having fun, learning and working. I am not training them alone.

5. True love establishes boundaries. He says "no" when He needs to and "yes" when he can.

6. True love sets a good example. I learn from him daily. He's forgiving and energizing and loving....all things that sometimes don't come easy for an insecure skeptic.

7. True love doesn't always have to be right. Even when He is. He can back off, down or turn around in matters of trivial pursuit.

8. True love irons his own clothes...and everyone else's in the family-- after I match them all up.

9. True love doesn't buy me flowers....because he knows I'd rather have his time....building raised beds outside for fresh flowers and veggies.

10. True love loves God more than me. And I'm good with that...because by loving His father more he can love me more.

Sometimes when we are young we forget to look for all the lovely ways our beloved loves us. For me...I spent many Valentines Days disappointed that I didn't get what someone else got, or I didn't get to go to a fancy smancy restaurant or on a trip. And then I started keeping track of my gratitudes...my gifts and then I realized....Bruce loves me in our own way....Our lives are busy and when he lessens my load....He's taking care of me...When he is training our kids....He's taking care of our earthly investment that God gave us....When He backs off in an argument....He's saying...he loves me enough to humble himself....When He laughs with me....He reminds me that life is about enjoying all these moments...not just the perfect ones.

And since our love is messy....I'm thankful for every imperfect moment that we share.

So today or tomorrow or whenever you celebrate....remember it's about all the moments....not just the ones that happen on February 14.

For us....we are headed to the funeral home....with our kids to say goodbye to a man I've never met...but love because of what his investment with his family has given the world....A man who raised and invested in a son, who raised and invested in his two sons, that are investing their lives in the ministries of our church here and in a third world country. That's some true love worth celebrating!

See...true love never really dies.

True Love - Part 1

During the month of February I'll be blogging off and on about what true love looks like. This first part is about God's Love...first because without it, there is no other kind of love.

The first love I remember experiencing was of course the love of my parents and because I was raised in a home with parents that knew about God and had a relationship with Him, from an early age I learned about Jesus (God's son) love for me. From singing Jesus Loves Me, Every Day with Jesus is Sweeter than the Day Before and The B-I-B-L-E...to attending church and Sunday School weekly, I heard the message loud and clear. God loved me.

At the young age of five I began understanding a little about this kind of unconditional love and by the age of twelve I knew beyond a doubt that this perfect, sacrificial, never-ending love that God had for me was nothing that even my good parents could compare with. And since that time it seems I keep discovering more and more of what God's love for me looks like.

- His love is unconditional....it's not based on what I've done or what I'm going to do. He loves me. Period. That's it. And that's my favorite. What I choose to do in return for His love is purely an offering and doesn't gain me any more love than the next gal. God doesn't play favorites...he plays intimates...what I gain from growing more in love with Him has nothing to do with Him loving me more and everything to do with me getting to know Him more intimately. He cannot love me more than He does today or did yesterday because that would mean somehow His love was deficient then or in the future...and that would contradict His character...that He is fully everything always.

- His love changes me....knowing more about who He is and how He loves makes me want to love better. He loved me first....He loved me unconditionally...He loved me in spite of the ugliness of my sin nature. He loved me knowing that I would betray Him, disappoint Him, doubt Him and fail Him. What a love to aspire to give! As I grow to know Him, I realize just how enormous this love is. I see my inadequacies and realize that no matter how I fail to measure up, He still loves me. This is such a valuable lesson for me to transfer into my own relationships. Patience is essential. As a wife and mom, my love for Bruce and my kids will be much more perfected if I can learn to love like God loves me. His love changes me from quick-tempered and mouthy to patient and kind when I stop long enough to remember His example towards me.

-His love is worth sharing....with everyone. The homeless, the church member, the single mom, the disgruntled employee, the grocery checker, the president of the USA, the orphan, the drunkard, the student and everyone in-between. There is not one single person that doesn't deserve to hear of His great love...not the homosexual, the man with AIDS, the druggie, the pot smoking hippie, the naked tribal man in the jungles of the Philippines or the American college student at the finest left winged institution. The way the world finds out that we know about this God of love is BY our love.



John 13:35 says, By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.


That's the way we are associated with Jesus....that's how other's know that we belong to Him...by our love...our Godly love towards them. It's not a weak love, it's not a pushover love, it's not a do whatever you want and never pay a consequence for your actions kind of love....no. It is a love that offers grace for each mistake, hope for every rotten self inflicted bad choice and peace for the soul that longs for more than sleepless nights of tossing and turning over the problems of this world.


He loves you just like that. NOW. Right this minute. This is the kind of love that can be yours for the asking. Too good to be true? Almost.....it's a one in an eternity kind of perfect love. That's my God's love....true love.

Once Upon A Time

June 19, 1993....20 years....

Half my life...

I've loved this man...

Sure...we were just kids when we said "I do". We had no idea how hard, and good, and precious and frightful this journey would be. And it's a good thing. Because I'm not very brave and I might would have changed my mind.

We've...

Finished College
Lived in Paris...Texas, that is, College Station, Beaumont, Gunter and Sulphur Springs...all Texas!
Become Aggie Fans
Survived 20 years of ministry together
Said goodbye to 4 babies through miscarriage
Loved many kids who were not our own
Said hello to 2 precious children through birth
Buried loved ones
Rejoiced over God's blessings
Cried over disappointments
Made mistakes
Apologized
Bought and sold houses
Made a home wherever we were
Celebrated birthdays and anniversaries and milestones
Have shared the lowest and highest moments of life

And there's still more...

More challenges
More celebrations
More "I'm sorrys"
More learning
More lows and highs

And because of the past we know...

We'll walk it all together. Because there are few greater joys in life than walking this life with someone you trust, you admire, you love, you respect, you enjoy...even after 20 years.

Thank you God...for these years and the ones to come...we are blessed.

Enjoy these pictures...We had some good chuckles with the kids over them last night!

Going to the Chapel

Late last week we made the quickest of trips to GA to see my sister get married and to help with the festivities. Here's a sneak peak into our adventures.

We left Texas at 12:30pm on Wednesday and drove straight through to Georgia. We arrived at 2am. We had called ahead to see if we could get our room early at the Inn we were staying at for the wedding. We weren't sure if we would drive all night but if we could we wanted to be able to get in our room. We had read on the Inn website that they don't man their office 24/7 so if you're coming in after hours they needed to know in advance so they could...leave a light on for us ...or in this case, leave the key in an envelope, with our name on it,  taped to the office door!!! I guess they are pretty trusting!

The next day we had a few hours to spare so we went to one of Georgia's best attractions, Callaway Gardens. We went to a bird show, the butterfly atrium, the vegetable gardens and drove around the gardens to see all the things we hope to come back to do at a later date. It was beautiful.

We met back at the pool at the inn, where my sister and soon to be groom, Genay, were. As we were pulling in we saw my brother, mom and step dad checking in. Soon the entire family was dipping their feet in the cool pool water....and my own two fishes were all the way in, sword fighting with the pool noodles. We grabbed a quick bite to eat and came back to the officiant's cabin to get instructions for the next morning. Headed back to the inn for showers and hit the hay.

The weather could not have been more gorgeous for the wedding...the bride was stunning..and my own two kids were pretty darn cute. Savannah was the junior bridesmaid and Tucker was the ring bearer. I played the piano, Bruce did the video, my niece was the flower girl ...truly a family affair.

After the short ceremony my mom had prepared a scrumptious lunch for everyone. We shared a meal with the rest of the guests and the married couple and packed up so the couple could have some privacy..which I don't really think they got until they made it home the next day...but still.

We enjoyed the next 48 hours with the rest of the family and headed back home via Duck Commander in Monroe, Louisiana. No sighting of the beards, but had fun snooping around.

Waiting on official bridal pics before I post pictures of the bride. She was beautiful...and the groom was handsome too! Wishing them the best as they begin their new life as one.