I Hate Who I Am

My sandwich and onion rings laid uneaten on the red Dairy Queen tray. I sipped my diet coke occasionally, but mostly listened as a broken woman told me her broken story. Abuse, abandonment, fear, cigarettes, poverty and issues I have only heard about and cringed inside about and feared and prayed against. Then she said the words, "I hate who I am". And my eyes could not contain the tears that filled them. 


Hate. Such a small word with such big meaning. Webster's describes it like this: 


: to feel extreme enmity toward : to have a strong aversion to : find very distasteful, to express or feel extreme enmity or active hostility


In fact the word "hate" is a word that we don't use in our house. First off, my kids dislike a long list of items and I really don't want to hear about it. Secondly, because they are young they don't understand how strong of a word it really is. So anytime I hear the word, it catches my attention.


"I hate who I am". I thought about correcting her. I thought about explaining to her that she shouldn't hate what God had made. I thought about telling her how much there was to love about herself. And quietly I think I must have heard God whisper...."She hates herself because she doesn't know Me. She hates what the enemy has done to her life. She hates who she has become because of sin". And very suddenly I felt the ground leveling between us. How many times do I hate myself when I allow distance to come between me and the Father? How many time do I hate myself when I allow the devil to get a victory in my life? How many times do I hate myself when sin uglies my life with lies, insecurity, doubts? And in an instance, through the water dropping from my eyes I saw my reflection.....


But there's a difference. A big essential difference. I know about the anecdote for self hatred. I know in my soul that there is something that defeats those feelings and emotions of complete failure and self loathing. I have experienced that washing away of guilt, worthlessness and humiliation. I have felt the complete peace, joy and exhilaration that comes from knowing that there is something more. 


There is grace. Grace that doesn't keep track of my failures, my past, my choices, my bad decisions, but comes in and washes over my hate and quietly springs up like hope and blessings in my life. Undeserved...grace


We sat and talked and our meals grew cold. She grabbed my hand and nearly....so closely....almost....reached out for Jesus. It was as if she felt the warfare around her...the slight breeze of an angels sword as it whipped by and grazed the face of a demon. The warfare....every bit spiritual. The battle for her soul...so very real. And she said...."I need to wait...think on these things...." and my heart sank....not because I need to be there when she begins this walk of love....but because I knew...I've been there....I've felt the breeze....


Will you pray? Pray for this sweet lady, a mom who needs to know Jesus...who is searching....who hates who she is. Please...please pray.

Thankful Thursday

My list of gratitudes for this week includes ....

1. I am thankful for a God who sees all and knows the truth. When the world or others misunderstand or choose to believe something else...He knows each motive and the truth of everything. It's this God who sees my heart...yes, the good and bad and He loves me, in fact He delights in me. It's that precious relationship that grows more special each day.

2. I am thankful that summer break is just 16 school days away.

3. I am thankful that the bad storms that ripped through GA last night did not harm my family.

4. I am thankful for my kids who are such troopers. It's been a juggling act lately with our schedules and they just go with the flow. Late nights and early mornings....and they are still smiling and bubbly.

5. I am thankful for the special sweet spirit that seems to be blossoming in our Wednesday night service at church.....or maybe it's been there all along and finally my spirit is in tune with His. There's new music, personal updates on our prayer list and an encouraging devotion to help edify believers. Love this time together.

So....what are you thankful for this week?

Easter Pics and Wrap Up

I took a little challenge this Easter to focus more on what Holy Week really means. I learned so much from reading the story of the Crucifixion and Resurrection slowly and deliberately. It made me question why I had found such a need to read large portions of scripture at a fast pace (...like the entire Bible in a short amount of time). I found so many truths staring me in the face as I read short portions and meditated on them. Truthfully, tears stained my face daily as I read of the great perfect love the Father God has for us and the beautiful, unselfish sacrifice that He made for humanity by giving us His son. It was a wake-up call for a more intentional personal sacrifice in my own life. I'm not sure what that is going to look like...but I'm very excited to find out!

One of the most meaningful (to me) things that I did was at school. On Maundy Thursday I washed the feet of the children in my class as a demonstration of what Christ did for the disciples. You can't imagine the myriad of questions and comments that can come from 8 four and five year olds. In those 20 minutes, as the water washed over their feet we talked about how dirty those sandal wearing feet of the disciples must have been, how gross and cracked and dry. We talked about how perfect Jesus was and how it didn't seem right for Him to be doing the washing....why didn't the disciples wash His feet? We talked about the meaning of humility and devotion and servanthood and kindness and meekness and about doing for those who don't deserve it. It was a beautiful time of worship and will by far be the best...the most precious memory I have with my class for this year. I think perhaps I learned more from it than anyone.

Our family didn't do anything too extravagant on Easter day....church, lunch and then a small Easter egg hunt with the TX grandparents and then one of the most beautiful times of communion I have had in a long time (not that it isn't always beautiful...it's me that gets in the way). Then a quick bite to eat with friends before the start of another busy week. 

How did you celebrate the resurrection? Did you do anything intentional so that your family would remember the real meaning? I'd love to hear about it!

Surviving the Storms

Savannah despises storms. It's become an issue. And that's putting it lightly. As a eight year old it's perfectly normal for there to be a healthy fear of rain, thunder, lightning, wind and the occasional tornado that comes ripping through east Texas in April. But we are way beyond that. It's gotten so bad that we've sought the help of a kind lady who just also happens to be a Christian counselor. She's given Savannah a set of coping skills that is helping her get a little stronger and more courageous with each passing storm. It's actually spurred my own interest in developing a few coping skills for my own storms....you know...the more grown-up kind.

See, unlike Savannah I actually enjoy a good thunderstorm...even the occasional lightning doesn't bother me...in fact as long as I am inside and nobody gets hurt everything can pretty much break loose and I'm alright. Why is that? Perhaps it's because I feel safe in my brick house. Maybe it's because my family is accounted for. Or is it because I have everything I need to survive a storm right here within the walls of my own home? Whatever the reason, I'm seeing lots of correlations to my spiritual life.

Why is it when we face a storm in our lives....AKA a disappointment, bad experience, sickness, job loss, difficult people, injustice or fill in the blank...that we don't handle things in pretty much the exact same way. In my own life I willingly admit that many times I look for the quickest escape route when it comes to trials, storms or uncomfortable situations. We don't like them (ok...I don't like...I won't pretend to speak for you). Instead of running to my house or my shelter (Jesus) I find myself dodging the raindrops, racing for a temporary shelter under a bridge or even worse just standing helpless in the rain waiting for someone in a boat to come pick me up. What a sight I must be!

God isn't some temporary shelter or some shotty umbrella that only opens halfway. He's a strong tower, a fortress, a refuge, sanctuary....why would I run anywhere else? Safe from this worlds attacks, Satan's destructive plan, my own ungodliness is a Savior God who is EVERYTHING we need during these storms. He's safe, dependable, durable, strong. He is our escape route. He is our protection. He is our plan of action. Not anyone or anything else. And you know what? Just like Savannah....with your set of run to Jesus coping skills....you'll get stronger with each passing storm!

This do...

Communion....those words..."This do in remembrance of me." The breaking of break, the drinking of the fruit of the vine....the quiet surrender of wills and emotions in confession of sins, the joyous hymn sung when it's all been said and done. Simply put, it's beautiful.

It's one of my favorite purposes of the church....the communion shared together at the Lord's Super. There's just something about gathering with a group of people for the "soul" purpose of remembering....what Christ did on the cross, what He conquered through His death and burial and resurrection, what He's saved us from and to, what forgiveness and grace are readily ours. It's in remembering all these things and more that we come into that quiet place of communion with the Father...where we realize how much He's done. It's where we realize the beautiful simplicity of brokenness and nothingness. It's where we confess our sins and instantly feel the weight of oppression fall off our backs.

Confession....boy there was a lot of that going on from me tonight....Blurred lines between my self-worth and my pride, masks of happiness covering hurts and ultimately bad attitudes. Eyes fixed on man rather than God. Time wasted versus time spent with the Savior. Confession....it felt good. Those shackles and chains fell right off at the mention of the power of Jesus blood and forgiveness of sins. Freedom embraced those emptied places.

And just like lemonade on a hot summer day, there's nothing quite like communion with your church after confession. That raw emotion that confession brings out, is softened by the grace extended in forgiveness and while the heart and soul thirst for the fulfillment communion brings, restoration from the Heavenly Father touches those hurting holes with healing and makes all things new.

Thank you Lord for a visual reminder that you've endured it all..Thank you for forgiveness, your cleansing power and for new fresh starts each day!

Promise Fulfilled

He is risen.....just as He said!

There's one thing you can always count on. When God says it...it's gonna happen. Sometimes not the way that my finite mind can understand or fathom, but it's gonna happen. When He promises something, He comes through. He doesn't leave me hanging, abandon me, walk away or give me a rain check. He fulfills His promise, keeps His Word, pays up.

On Easter morning, when the eyes of believers and skeptics alike were on the tomb, there was no exception. It had been prophesied, promised, talked about and now was being fulfilled. 

In a world where people don't keep their word, a gentlemen's handshake is worthless and good character is getting harder to find, remember, God's the only one who gets the 100% endorsement that He will never leave us or forsake us. Let's keep our eyes on the only perfect promise keeper. He won't disappoint!

Praying you and yours know the power of the promise! Happy Easter!

Now We Wait

Imagine being a believer who had just watched their precious Savior die a cruel death. You felt the earth tremble, saw the veil torn and experience noonday darkness. If there had ever been a doubt in your mind that He was who He said He was...it's gone.

You know the promise (Matthew 16:21). He said...three days....so, now you wait.

Willing to Pay the Price

No one forced Him. Not even God. No one manipulated the circumstances to trick Him. He knew. No one pulled the wool over His eyes. He saw everything that was coming. His death did not sneak up on Him. He was aware of every small detail His Father had planned. The supper, the feet washing, the prayer in the garden, the kiss of betrayal, the rooster crowing, the crowds chanting, the nine tails of a beating, the spit, the vinegar, the spear, the nails, the dice, the everything....every last detail. He was willing to endure every last detail to make all the promises that had ever been made true about Him, His death and His resurrection complete.

He didn't suffer less because he was God in man. He didn't feel less, endure less or go through less because he was a super man. He didn't have an out of body experience. He felt every sting, every jolt, every stripe, every ugly word, every betrayal, every sin....mine and yours.

That's what overwhelms me today....on Good Friday. His sacrifice was more than I can even imagine. His death more powerful and promising than His birth...because it was another promise...however unpleasant....that shouted from heaven to earth that GOD always keeps His promises....His Love had come and now hung, willingly dying, for the sins...all the sins...of the world.

Thank you for the cross.....it made all the difference for me....for the world!

Maundy Thursday...What is it?

I've never been a member of a church that celebrated Maundy Thursday, so in my preparations to make Easter more meaningful for my own family this year, I did a little research. Here's what I found out. Maundy Thursday is the day of Holy Week (Passion Week, some call it) that represents the last supper....the washing of feet....the last purely intimate time the disciples had with Jesus. There was the breaking of bread, the drinking of wine and then there was..the foot washing. The foot washing.

About ten and a half years ago Bruce and I went to a Pastor's retreat in Red River, New Mexico. The retreat accommodations where lovely and the church that hosted the retreat was probably the most friendly bunch of Christians I have ever met. We had been to the retreat the year before and connected with some of the families in the church and enjoyed our fellowship there. On the last day of the conference though, something happened that will forever be etched in my memory. The pastor had all the other pastoral staff couples (including Bruce and I) gather in a circle and sit down. He then asked us to take our shoes off. I was nearly petrified as I had not had a pedicure in who knows when, but as other well worn feet slipped from their shoes, I too slid my feet from my shoes. And then, as if on cue, one couple for each ministry couple emerged from a side room. Husband holding a large bowl of water and Wife holding neatly folded white towels across her arm. Our couple knelt before us, and gently placed one foot at a time in the warm water, taking a cloth and washing over our dirty, dry, cracked, calloused feet. First one foot, then the other. First pastor then wife. In silence, they lovingly, gently, kindly washed our feet. It was that same type of action...the Maundy Thursday kind of action....the love each other as you want to be loved action...that has stayed with me all these years.

See, Maundy Thursday was an act of humility from our King Jesus. In all His majesty, he washed the disciples feet....even the feet of the one who would betray him. O.U.C.H. He knew...and yet He washed...because Maundy Thursday was about love....about loving when it's dirty, inconvenient, unfair, humiliating, hurtful and when you know betrayal is next. It's about thinking of others more highly than you do yourself, about going the extra mile and remembering that everyone who walks in this world has dirty feet. Even yourself. Even me.

Why Teach?

Face it. I teach four year olds and most of my mornings with them consists of Crayola's and Stephen Fite songs, but every once in a while a moment takes my breath away. One such moment happened today.

We've been creating our own dozen resurrection eggs for the kids to take home their set and share with their parents. All last week we were busy filled the eggs and learned the resurrection story. Today we finished up with the last two days and when I got to the last day I gathered the students close and talked about the empty grave. I'm not really sure what happened, only that, in that brief moment, no one talked, every set of eyes was fixed on me and that for once this year 8 little children sat in amazement at the miracle story of the Resurrection of Jesus. Finding out the tomb was empty fascinated them.

I confess, as I watched them, a tear streamed down my face and I found myself choked up by their innocent excitement and maybe even more by the sacrifice HE made. Like a chef who has discovered a great recipe, they were giddy. They had finally discovered the hope and the reason for everything we had already talked about in the resurrection story...the bread, the garden, the crown of thorns, the dice, the darkness over the earth, the white burial cloth, the sponge of vinegar and more. These things had to happen in order for us to experience the greatest miracle of all times. Resurrection.

This is why I teach. It's not to impress anyone or get praise or get a paycheck or to teach a kid to read or write. Solely...100% it is to teach children about a God who keeps His promises. Is it my responsibility to do this....not solely, but it is my responsibility as a Christian to share the gospel with others. I'm so thankful that includes my class of energetic four year olds!

Holy Week Reflection

Check out this new song from Matt Papa.... IT IS FINISHED

Peace Retreat

Recently I heard about a place in someone's home called a Peace Retreat... a place of filling up and letting go and recharging all in one.  I thought I might try this idea of a Peace Retreat in our home. So today....after probably the worst week I've had in ages, I decided it was time to make the time to make the Peace Retreat...if for no one else...for myself!

Here's how it turned out:

A candle lit to help calm down... whether a bad day, a bad attitude or a bad choice.

A comfy chair and pillow to rest your weary body or soul or both

A basket full of Bibles, and children's books that talk to those big and small and remind us in these times when we need this peace retreat that God is near....and oh how He loves us.

A journal and pen to jot down our feelings, prayers, fears or blessings. To draw when we can't write or feel overwhelmed with our feelings.

Something for everyone

Even the littlest....

Because sometimes we all have days where we need a peace retreat....a "time out" of sorts from our world...a place where our joys and sorrows can be heard and our fear and worries can be felt and let go.

After I readied this place in our home, I took my children through each piece of the Peace Retreat. I told them sometimes when they were having a bad day or having trouble being good, they might want to spend some time in the peace retreat. If they get in trouble, I may send them to the Peace Retreat to collect their feelings, their emotions and their actions. I want them to find this a place where they can think about God and understand that He longs to meet them right where they are at that moment....and that they can experience His Peace right there.

Where's your place to retreat for peace? My challenge....make it more than a time out chair or a 5 minute break in the bathroom with the door locked. Focus for a few minutes...be intentional....make a place where your family can go to intentionally meditate, study, pray, journal and read God's Word. You'll be glad you did!

Being Real

Do you like.....

powdered eggs
powdered milk
instant tea
margarine
fake flowers
fake friends

???

To be entirely honest, I don't like any of these...yet I have experienced each one and in some ways realize the reason for them. But, for most people, we like the real stuff....real butter, real eggs, whole milk, fresh brewed iced tea, a beautiful garden of fresh flowers and real die hard stick with you til the end love you enough to tell you the truth friends.

We like real. So what does that mean? According to Webster's online dictionary: 1: of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things (as lands or tenements) 2a : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine <realgold>; also : being precisely what the name implies realprofessional>


I love the definition. But when I think about it...the only thing in life that I need to even come close to this expectation is in  my relationship with Christ....and to be even more honest...it's more like Christ's relationship with me. I find myself moving around all the time...trying but failing, trusting yet worrying, disciplined but fickle....relate??? Yet, he is unmovable, unshakable, stable, permanent, grounded, rooted. 


What a real faith I am able to experience because of HIS realness. Oh how blessed I am. 


Is there something REAL about Jesus that you're thankful for? Share it here...or with someone else today!

Thankful Thursday

Here's a brief summary of a few of the many gratitudes I have this week:

1. We just finished up another year of AWANA. My little Cubbies did an outstanding job memorizing scriptures. My own kids did great too. I had awesome workers helping in Cubbies and I couldn't have asked for a better team....so willing to go the extra mile for the kids, snacks, puppets and game time. What a blessing they were to me. Praying they have a restful summer and forget how much work it is next fall when they are asked to sign up to work again!!!

2. A sincere heart to heart with the hubby. You know these things take time and it had been a while. So glad we had the time to talk about the important things going on in our lives.

3. Time to sit and craft last weekend. Relaxing and enjoyable.

4. Soul Surfer ---the movie. I am so thankful that I was able to take my daughter to see this. We made a night of it with another mom friend and her daughter. I'm thankful for the take-away value of this faith based and faith-filled movie. What a blessing to walk away and have something constructive to chat about. What an amazing girl!

5. Wednesday night church service. I have said it before...Wednesday night is the best service for me at church. The last two weeks have been amazing...the music, the message....just everything. Such a wonderful pick-me-up during the week.  Love it!

So...what are you thankful for this week?

Dumb...and Dumber

Sheep are the dumbest animals alive. I'm not 100% sure this has been proven scientifically but all you have to do is watch HERE HERE HERE to be persuaded.

It's no joke that God, in His Word, likens us to sheep. We aren't always the smartest when it comes to life, love and logic.  In fact...if I was completely honest there are times that I am just flat out dumb. In my Sunday School class Sunday we were talking about the importance of God's Word being our #1 source for EVERYTHING...emphasis on EVERY. In my own life I've watched myself put confidence in others and have been so sadly disappointed when they failed me. I've also watched people put their trust in me...and well, I am a sad example of perfection, so of course, they were disappointed. God's Word will never fail me or anyone else....after all it is GOD's WORDs given to us....it is HIM. He is the Word...John 1 tells us. So why in the world would I go to some dumb sheep before I go to HIM about anything.

In fact, I think there are MANY times when I wouldn't need to talk to another human being about a matter if I would just get in the WORD and find what I need there. We depend a lot on friends....especially as women, and well, just bluntly put....we're emotional, we're opinionated...sometimes we're wrong...and well....we're sheep. The Bible talks about burdening a weaker brother or sister in Christ with your own baggage may in fact cause that person to stumble. WOW....am I completely guilty there. Suffice it to say...my heart, my feelings, my opinions are better off in the hands of the Lord than anywhere else. These are lessons I pray this sheep can grow to master. His Word is the only best place for my soul to find what it needs. Get smart...and get in it.

Quotes from God's Girl

I'm reading the book God's Girl by Hayley DiMarco. I also am reading the companion devotional guide by the same author. I am amazed by the insight and extreme clarity this gal writes with....she is my hero.

This book is really written for younger women who might be on the verge of adulthood, college age, maybe beginning their career. I had originally picked it up when I was looking at doing a Bible study with the teen girls, but now I am just reading it because. And now is definitly the best time for me to be reading it....because now I am ready to receive what God has for me. Before, I don't think I was ready.

Here are a few quotes from the book:

When Christians love only the people who love them, they don't prove anything to anyone about who God is.


Obsess only about one thing, your relationship with God, and then everything else will fall into place.


If you want more of God then learn more about Jesus.


Worry calls God a liar.


As long as you are looking for approval in the eyes of another human being, you are going to be completely distracted from God.


Troubled relationships start with a lack of humility.


I could truly go on and on and on. She has a way of saying things that knocks you square in the eyes and sets you straight. I'm pretty sure the Holy Spirit is also involved.

Anyway....I'm in love with this book and highly recommend you go straight to amazon.com right now and buy it. ....go....now.....yes, you....go...now.

The Word

I'm sitting here late on Saturday night just reviewing the notes for my ladies class tomorrow at church. The lesson was written on Monday and I've been chewing on it all week long. It's all about the Bible. I know...crazy, right? But how many times in one day do I basically just do my own thing without regard to what God has to say about it? Do I even know what His word says about the struggles I face, the decisions I need to make, the issues I deal with on a daily basis. 

What I've been reminded of this week is how stable, unchanging and completely reliable my God is. We can count on Him. The same words that were written thousands of years ago are still relevant and applicable to our lives now. The hard part is that I've got to be disciplined enough to get in the book and find out what it says about life, love and everything in between. It's not enough to own a Bible. You've got to open it up and read it!

So whether I'm struggling with parenting issues, friend issues, spousal issues, diet issues, health issues, money issues or anything else big or little or in between, God's got it covered. The principles found in His Word have 2011 written all over them. I just need to do my part and open the pages.

I'm tremendously grateful that we have a God who doesn't try to hide or tease us with His promises. They're all written down for us all to see....or at least those of us blessed enough with a copy of His Word....And might I add that there are many who don't have one...let alone one in their own language. Read about that situation HERE

So if you have a copy of the Bible, read it. Believe it. Test everything you say and hear against the standard of God's Word, trust it, live it, dive into it, memorize it and above all love it...for it is Jesus. He is the Word.

Borrowed Things

When God let me borrow these two little lives I could never have imagined the emotions they would bring out in me. From extreme and overwhelming joy, to anxious moments, to protective mechanisms I didn't know where in me....He's ordained all these moments. And I'm thankful. 

I know their roads will be rocky, but I'm praying that they will always stay rooted in the word of God. Claiming His promises in every season of life. And when they stray that they will always remember and never forget how deep the Father's love is for them.

Thankful Thursday

This weeks gratitudes include:

1. An enjoyable trip to Canton, Texas on Saturday. Bruce kept the kids so I could enjoy a day away. It was so nice!

2. A super first week teaching a new ladies class at church.

3. A hard lesson in parenting and restoration learned....and hopefully remembered forever :)

4. Beautiful weather.

5. My friends who breathe life, wisdom and humor into every day of my life.

Thank you Lord for these special gifts.

Wanting More

Seems lately I've been hungry. Seriously hungry. I could pretend I wasn't talking about food...but that would be a complete lie....but that's for another blog post....today I'm talking about life.

I'm teaching a 13 week ladies class at church right now and if there is one thing that gets me wanting more its when I dive into God's Word and see all the things that I don't know or don't understand (not that I ever will understand it all). It gets me hungry to feast off the many delicacies of the Bible. It also leaves me wanting more for my life in general. Not in a dissatisfied sort of way...but a longing for all the things that God wants to give me. Hopefully you know He has a very generous nature. His desire to give us good and perfect gifts is huge. It's me that has a way of bulking up on the carbs and fat of this world until I don't even give a conscious effort to fill up on the substance of Him. I long for that. I want more.

Another thing I want more of is discipline. Not just physically, but in every area of my life. I've noticed lately that I feel out of control when things around me are not organized or at least a resemblance of order. I don't like that feeling. But do I like doing the necessary things it takes to keep things orderly? Not really....that takes discipline...with my time, my efforts, my energy. UGH....it might mean working harder or later or more diligently in my home so that things are more functional. That is something I want...but do I want to do the work to make it happen? Couldn't someone just send the cleaning fairy and the laundry maid?

I want more for my kids. I want them to know more about God's love for them. His trustworthiness. Their worth in Him, His provision. I want their faith to be rooted in grace. I want them to love His Word and memorize it and read it and value its wisdom above all other. I want more for them.

The desires of my heart were first placed there by God himself so they don't surprise Him at all. Sometimes I wonder if He doesn't look down and say, "So you're finally ready for more? I've been waiting. Hold on!"

I'm ready Lord. No more mediocre, self sufficience. No more proud ugly know it all attitude.

I want more.

The Hard Stuff

"Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love." Somebody smart said that.

Because on this blog you get the good, the bad and the funny, I know you'll understand when I say that sometimes your parents words come back to haunt you....and that's sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes it's funny.

Did your folks ever say:

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? Yeah....that's the one that's haunting me tonight. It's been a rough day....and unfortunately  fortunately I think some lessons have been learned. For me....I totally got that hurting feeling you feel when you know you've disciplined your child, but it's been painful for both of you. Yes, there were tears, hugs, talking, guidance and for us, prayer.

Prayer.

Together and separately. While I was praying for wisdom, peace, guidance and direction, I'm pretty sure my child was probably praying for a pardon. But not this time. Nope. This was the time that we had to deal. And it was hard. And it was unpleasant. And it hurt me as much as it did them. And I don't want to ever have to do it again. But I will. Probably sooner than I want to think about. Because discipline and punishment are part of growing and becoming and learning and maturing and loving.

And I do love my kids.
And my God who told us how to handle this delicate hard stuff.

Thank you Lord.

Things I'll Miss

As I was cleaning the house a little today I almost got frustrated with some of the clutter that seems to appear on a daily basis. Then I remembered how quickly the years are flying by and that actually these things that might frustrate me now, will be some of the very things that I miss the most. My list looks a little something like this:

I'll miss...

1. Matchbox cars lined up on the edge of the bathtub where Tuck has lined them up to dry off after a splash in the bath with him.

2. Savannah's many markers and other writing utensils that I find in every nook and cranny in the house. What a creative little chick she is becoming.

3. Fighting over the computer with my kids. They both love investigating and surfing....almost as much as me!

4. Laundry....every last piece. As I was doing the mountain of laundry this week I was thinking about how much my kids have grown this year alone. Jeans I bought Tucker at the beginning of the school year barely fit him now....and I wonder have I done what I could to help him grow in the love and admonition of His heavenly Father too.

5. Happy Meal toys....or the like. My feet are like magnets to these little things! On the floor at midnight seems to be the most likely place my feet me them!

These are just a few of the things I was thinking about today as I worked around the house. Those moments that sometimes frustrate me the most turned into a little time of reflection and nostalgia when I remembered how far God's brought this little foursome of mine. He's been so faithful and good. These things I'll miss will grow and grow as the kids do, but hopefully we will be embracing each of those seconds with love and care...being careful not to miss them and the opportunities each one brings.

How 'bout you? Anything you'll miss?