Second Guessing

I've been second guessing myself (and ultimately God) a lot lately.

Second guessing....

Relationships...
Who I am....
Who I want to be....
What I am suppose to say....
When I'm supposed to say it...
Why God lets things happen....
What my calling is and what that looks like right now...
What to have for dinner....
Whether or not to work out....
Who really loves me....I mean really really really loves me...
What kind of mother I am....

And the list goes on....and on, but you get the picture. Before you call the local crazy house, I'm not losing it (well, most days anyway) because God is teaching me something. It's like in the midst of all this God says..."Let me". That's it. "Let me".

Let me....

Be the one to decide your relationships
Be the one to direct your ministry steps
Be the one to give you words to say
Be the one to show you when to say those words
Be the one to love you with an everlasting love
Be the one you trust when things go wrong, or you're disappointed, lonely and feeling insecure
Be the one to teach you how to care for this vessel
Be the one to show you how to guide your children

And in those midnight hours when I'm eyes wide open, I'm learning to experience that "Let God" peace.  It's a process. It's hard. I'm miles from the finish line (heaven)....and I feel like most days I am walking two paces and stepping back one....but I'm trying to let God. In all honesty, this is too much for me. I can't juggle these things without Him. I've tried. I've failed. I need Him...seems like more each day...or maybe I am just continuing to learn inch by inch that life is easier that way...the "let God" way.