Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Friendliness Takes You a Long Way

Recently I was speaking with another woman about the perils of being a woman....you know...

1. If passing in a hall and making eye contact with another person and they don't say "hello", smile or at least nod, they might not like me.

2. If they sit with someone else in church or go out to eat with them after services...they may not like me.

3. If they go shopping, out to eat, to get a pedicure or to have their nose hairs trimmed....with someone else, they might not like me.

4. If they spend more time talking on the phone with so and so than with me...they may not like me.

So, what is it we are looking for in friendships and relationships with other women?

Here my short list:

1. Someone who will pray for me....in good times and bad.

2. Someone who will think the best, not the worst of me if they hear something about me.

3. Someone who is friendly.

4. Someone who is able to laugh easily.

5. Someone who won't be too surprised that I mess up....because I've talked enough about how good God's grace is.

I also appreciate a friend who will:

1. Share a good deal with me

2. Will tell me when there is lipstick on my teeth

3. Has similar interests

4. Is more adventurous than me

We women deal with a lot of insecurities. For years I've struggled with feelings of inferiority and second guessing myself. I'm at a place now where I think what has sidetracked me the most in my own life is the  way I have felt others think about me....you know what is funny about that?????? I'm pretty sure people don't have the time to sit around and to think of me all day long.

So I am embracing friendliness. This past year as I have gotten to know so many amazing new women I have been blessed by their friendliness. It's ministered to me. It's made me feel welcomed. It's helped to heal a few wounded places in my heart. It's allowed me to forgive myself for mistakes I've made in the past and it's helped to provide an example of healthy friendships can be like. I've got a few friendships from the past that do this as well and I am thankful for all these life-breathing friends God's blessed me with.

If you're like me....struggle with feeling like you fit. Try friendliness on for size. Give a smile, an unexpected hug, an encouraging word or gift. See where it gets you. I bet it takes you a long way!


F. Deaton said...

Boy have I wanted to write something similar to this for awhile now! The only thing I will say is this: friendships with other women can be the most wonderful and heart-breaking things all at the same time. Thought-provoking post!

Brent and Miriam Williams said...

Love it, Gina. I do love you just how you are and consider you a dear and beautiful friend.

Becky said...

hey gina i love this post. i have made and lost friendships over the years but i treasure all of my friends and i consider u one of them that i treasure.

Crysta Smith said...

Lovely post, Gina ~ Which I could be there to give you a big hug or tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth -- but know that I am sending you a big e-hug! :)

Crysta Smith said...

Oops! I meant "Wish" instead of Which... :)