"I think I'm depressed....seriously don't know if I can handle anything else."
Ever gotten a text like that from a friend like that? I have...and truth be known...I've even sent a text like that. And if we are honest....and I hope we are....whether we've sent the actual text or not...I'm fairly certain that we've all felt that way before. It's reality...sometimes life is tough. Sometimes life hurts. Sometimes life sucks the life out of us. Sometimes we add an LOL or a HaHA....and what we really mean is this is rough...I am about to give in. Sometimes we loose track of the voice.
Sometimes the voice inside my head is louder than the voice inside my heart.
There....I've said it.
Recently after one of those kinds of days....after being brutally honest with my pitiful self....after I ate a big bowl of my feelings...after I cried...after I got mad at myself...I heard that heart voice. Why after? Because I was listening to the loud voice in my head....my flesh. Because I'm human. Grossly human.
I know "people" who live with the loud voice of the head blaring in their ear. It's the way they live...consumed by the voice of the enemy. That's not the way God wants us to live. That's not the way we were made to live. That's not a way to live. So how do we squelch the voice that's in our heads that says things like...
"I'm not good enough"
"I'm too tired"
"I'm not worth it"
"It's all too much"
Well as I learn this lesson with you..these are some things I am finding out. The heart voice speaks quietly...gently. Be still....listen carefully. Lean in.
I'm learning that God's message of acceptance is so hard to believe that sometimes I don't. It's so contrary to what the world's message is....I don't have to be anything...not nicer, not thinner, not a better mom, not a perfect wife, not employee of the month. He accepts me just the way He created me. I don't need to measure up to anyone.
He wants more for me....That voice in my head has three goals....Kill, steal, destroy. The voice in my heart...comes to give me abundant life. Do I even know what that looks like? Well if you thought it meant you'd be richer and more successful and more influential and more liked...well...you're wrong. If you know anything about what Jesus valued as important you know that the things that He loved the most...that brought Him the most was that His children learn to walk in truth. (III John 2:4) And the only way we learn to walk in the truth is to be faced with situations that we are forced to choose...to choose the truth....and to walk in it. That means we are going to face tough, challenging, hard days.
Bottom line...as I'm learning...is the way to hear the voice in my heart...is to be still, listen to His words and choose to do them. Man, oh, man....that kind of bypasses some very flesh -gratifying behavior...like eating my feelings or complaining to a friend or even beating myself up.
Let's do this....Let's walk taller and stronger because we're listening to the voice in our hearts ...It's time to listen to the voice of truth.