Monday, May 7, 2012

When You're Consumed

I've been worrying about it for a week. It's consumed nearly every spare minute of my life. The anticipation...the verdict...the waiting. It was overtaking my life.

Isn't that what fear does to us? It overtakes us...the unknown scares us, the waiting turns our stomachs into a gymnasium for somersaults and back flips. We worry, we lose sleep, we cry, we question, we think the worst....and then it happens.

For me it was (wait for it)....going to the dentist. It is probably my least favorite thing in all the world to do. But last week, when I chipped a tooth while eating my favorite snack I knew the time had come to face the dentist. The dreaded call was made but they couldn't get me in for a week. So...not only was I terrified...but I also had to wait 7 days before my irrational fear was to be faced.

So 3:15pm I sat, waiting again in the "waiting room" of the dentist office. Of course things were running behind. My heart was beating a little faster than normal, I had checked my email, facebook, pinned things on pinterest and was just about ready to back out when they called my name. And the sweetest lady ever called my name. I took the deepest breath I could.

I explained my anxiety to the nurse...probably verifying that I was certifiably crazy...and she was sympathetic and kind and compassionate. All the while I am thinking how incredibly stupid I must sound. The dentist came in. Verified I had chipped my tooth and took an Xray. And then told me all I needed was a filling. He couldn't believe I had never had a cavity before and praised me for my good teeth...and then he asked me did I want one shot or two of the numbing agent....and I opted for two...because sometimes more is better :). And 20 minutes later...I was good to go. (on a side note I ran into a friend at walmart and she was pretty sure I was a little tipsy from the extra shot).

My fears were totally crazy. But in the midst of fear you don't really see how crazy you are. That's why we have to trust what we know. What I know now is that the dentist staff was super nice and extra sensitive to my insecurities. What I know now is that an extra shot is totally worth it. What I know now is that the waiting room can be excruciating. And even though these are all very real and very true, it's no reason to act like a fear filled woman.

In my real life (the one that even includes the dentist office) I know God is bigger than all my fears and insecurities. He's in the business of walking through ever second of life with me. He doesn't skip out because it's uncomfortable or because things aren't going the way we thought they should. He's there. Everyday. His presence is what should consume me...and nothing else. And when that happens...there's really nothing to be afraid of.

What about or hate the dentist? What about your unrealistic fears...what are they? What do you do to cope or work through your anxiety?


~Jaime~ said...

Best line..."But in the midst of fear you don't really see how crazy you are." So true!

Glad you're all fixed up now!

Carol Round said...

I usually find that my quiet time with God while I journal my prayers has a way of calming me and reminding me to trust Him and let Him do the worrying :)