And instead....our school year went more like this:
Marker marks on the table
Forcing them to stay awake as we read orally
Fractions (need I say more???)
And moments of questioning my sanity....many moments. I'm not even going to say the good outweighed the bad....But I will say God's grace outweighed my frustration, doubts and tears. You see, when I realized God was calling me homeschool both my kids (I've homeschooled Savannah since kinder) I was 100% sure that I heard Him correctly. And when I resigned my teaching position, I was 100% sure I was doing what He had asked of me. But fast forward a few months to a string of bad days, difficult math, frustrated kids and mom and a deficiency of diet coke...and I wasn't sure about this act of obedience. In fact...the struggle is still very real.
I'm still wondering..
Did they get what they needed this year?
Did I do a good enough job?
Is this really what's best for our family?
Are they stronger spiritually because of this year?
Do we do THIS again? Or something different?
It's not really any different than any other decisions we make for our family...seeking God, His will, constantly reviewing our decisions to be sure we are still on track with His plans. But listen...when His plans and your obedience are all about molding, shaping and modeling Christ to this next generation...well, it can get a little scary. I can't do it alone. Just saying'. So I'm listening more closely after a year....trying to be super-sensitive to His plan for us. Some might not think it's that important or that I take this calling too seriously but really??? What is more important than teaching and shaping and showing this generation about what's really important to know...Jesus. And sure...I know reading, writing and math are important...but who really wants to be around anyone who knows it all but lacks grace and love and peace??
Besides, it's only by HIS strength my crew even made it out alive from this year! And thankfully His mercies were new every single morning. And I am counting on that again tomorrow and the next day and the next.
And my kids will be ok as long as they learn those lessons...about grace and new mercies and listening to God's voice. Because in the end...that's the most important lesson of all.
So what's in store for us for next year? Homeschool again. Different curriculum for some classes and lots more reading....and writing ....and arithmetic, with heavy doses of grace and mercy...every day.