I'm sitting here...the eldest just tossed her cookies and the youngest is singing at the top of his lungs in the shower, Chris Tomlin's, White Flag....and Bruce is out of town and I'm knee deep in grading phonics papers for my class of 18 first graders. And giving up is looking pretty good right now. Only it's not the right kind of giving up. It's the poor pitiful me...look how bad I have it...My life is so busy...poor me kind of giving up. (And I hear you saying "Spare me, join the club, you're not the only one"...and I am already sick of hearing my own complaining.
Our church's theme for the next year is "Take Over...Surrender...White Flag". And as I sit and contemplate all the things that surrender means....none of them includes vanishing from the face of the earth...which if I were completely honest, temporarily, sounds good. Instead, it means giving it all up to the Lord and letting Him take care of it. Trusting that He will take care of it. Loving that He will do His part to juggle the kids, the house, the school stuff, the Bible study...Knowing He can take way better care of things than I could ever. And that's really where I want to be.
I want to be that woman who is not easily flustered by life. The one who is calm and cool and well yes, even collected (although I'm not sure what that looks like). I want to be the one that is selfless and uninhibited when God asks me to do something. I want to think of others more and, instead of, myself....and that's hard when your hands are full of pins you're juggling.
So, I'm surrendering. Not because the church is having a theme, but because God says He can do more...more with my time, my talents, my treasures, my kids, my class, with me....than I could ever do in my own power. His exchange rate is prime. My overwhelmed, pitiful life for His Abundance. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me. I'm raising my white flag.