Returning to the Call

It's been 7 months almost to the date. 

Bruce resigned a church that we loved with all our hearts. And I thought I couldn't breath. 

I was 16, a scrawny teenage girl, attending youth camp in Tennessee, when I gave my life to Jesus to do whatever He wanted. I already knew....I wanted to be a pastor's wife. I wanted to wear the pretty clothes my childhood pastor's wife wore, I wanted to sing like her, I wanted to walk proudly beside my husband and I wanted to pray for people at the altar. That's what I thought her life was all about.

Fast forward less than 10 years down the road and I was traveling with Bruce to begin living the dream....our first church pastorate...13 people and a tiny white building with a little yellow parsonage in the back. I was in heaven. Since then, 20 plus years have passed. 2 other churches and the 16 year old girl with dreams of ministry is nearing 46 and in the last 7 months has dealt with the realities of ministry. Ministry is hard...but God is faithful to walk every single step with me. 

Tomorrow we move to a new town. New church. New faces. New ministry. I feel like a junior high student....nervous, excited and a little clumsy. But God has this. He has carried me through the darkest time of my life and brought me out to walk in truth. And the truth is, God has called us. God wasn't through with us. God, in His sovereignty, has worked what I thought was tragedy into something beautiful. God has protected my family. My children's faith has grown and we have been humbled by the things the Lord has allowed us to experience. He has been better than good to us. 

I could dwell on the bad...cause there's been some.

I could meditate on the disappointments...cause there's been some.

I could count my losses...but honestly I can't count that high. 

It has been painful.

But in every surrendered situation...God can bring beauty from ashes. And He has done that...the masterpiece maker has been busy. 

Thanks be to God for calling a scrawny 16 year old girl. 

PS...ministry is way more than pretty clothes and walking with your pastor husband and praying with people at the altar. Mrs. Jackson made it look so easy....yet, I am sure she struggled with everything I have. What grace she walked in! 

Sunday Song- Jon Guerra - I Will Follow

Praying Friends

Job 16:20-21-My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend.

It is no secret the life of Old Testament Job was turned upside down in the time span of a day. I can't imagine losing everything you've ever loved, worked for, earned, prayed for, been blessed with, in a minute. But that's exactly what happened. Job, a man who lived according to the principles of God, was allowed to be tested. 

Ever find yourself wondering what you did wrong? Why God is allowing something to happen? How could He? You examine yourself and like Job find no gross, habitual sin that you are guilty of and you wonder...is this punishment for something I'm not thinking of? Is it testing to make me stronger? 

You cry, pitch a fit, get angry, take a long walk to clear your head....oh wait..maybe that's just me. But you do whatever you can to deal with the emotions of loss and hurt and disappointment and fear. We try to cope. 

But Job, he knew the answer. He knew that his friends would eventually run out of the right words. He knew that people would forget. He knew that His losses would only be fully understood by his intercessor...His Lord. And He knew the Lord could be trusted with His tears. He knew that his intercessor would storm the gates of heaven just like the most loyal friend cheers and champions during times of distress.

I have a mother who has prayed over me since I was a baby. I have a husband who is a prayer warrior and I have friends that have lifted my arms in the wilderness and carried me to victory. I am truly blessed by those in my life who intercede on my behalf. 

But more important that all that is that Jesus Christ himself is my intercessor and His direct access to the Father God holds such promise and hope for me when I struggle to understand God's ways, His testings or my own consequences for sin. I am so thankful that just as my friends and family pray me through different situations, that Jesus Christ is hearing my pleas and lovingly and urgently taking those to the Lord God. 

Jesus...what a friend to this sinner.

Contrasting Our Culture

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

We live in a "me" culture. There is a nauseating aroma of success, ambition and self-centeredness that our culture and the enemy have consistently convinced us to breathe in over the last ... oh say, forever. It started in the garden with a snake that convinced Eve he knew better than God and it continues today as that same snake creeps around trying to convince us that he still knows better that God. 

But if you're anything like me, I don't need a great deal of help from the enemy to be selfish, inwardly focused or convinced that I know what's best. It's a daily struggle to be humble and to serve others and to possess and practice the attitude Christ Jesus modeled for us.

I used to think that the humble person was someone who was quiet, with a sort of wallflower personality, someone who didn't like attention. But then I realized that would eliminate much of the population that God created to be speakers, teachers, preachers, missionaries, evangelist, joy filled singers, people persons. That's when I realized, humility is a lot about how you make others feel. It's a lot about focusing on others. And a lot less what kind of personality and gifts you possess. It's more about what you do with those.

When we put our selfish ambitions and desires on the back burner and focus on what is good and right for others, humility shines. When we have the attitude of Jesus Christ towards others, humility shines. When we practice loving and serving the way Jesus did, humility shines. 

Humility doesn't boast. But it's not trying to hide either. It's not some secret that's just between me and you. It's the active pursuit to do what Jesus has done for us...He put us before His own desires and comfort. He served. He led with the motivation that He would glorify God with His years on earth. That's humility. Don't look in the mirror or around you to find a good example, look in God's Word. Jesus perfectly demonstrated humility. He wasn't weak. He wasn't passive. He wasn't depressed. He was a leader who looked after the needs and interests of others before He looked at His own desires. He was a leader who made others think without driving them away and He was a leader who adopted His Father's plans as His own. 

That should be our goal...to walk with others in mind, to put others needs and interests before our own selfishness and to adopt the Father's plan as our own. That's humility. What a stark contrast to the world we live in today! Let's do this. Let's be different. Let's walk like Jesus. In a world that craves the spotlight, let's focus on others so that they can see a clearer picture of Jesus through those who have adopted His agenda and not their own.

Walking in Truth

III John 1:4- I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in truth.

After nearly 25 years in ministry there is nothing that encourages my heart more than hearing how people that we have had the joy of leading and serving are still faithfully and joyfully serving the Lord and walking in the truth of His Word. Enough years have passed that we have had the overwhelming privilege to hear of so many stories of how God has led people we love, how He has carried them, how they have followed Him during times of joy and sorrow and how they have grown to love Him more and more. I can definitely see how John the Beloved could write these words. 

As a parent, I want the same for my kids. I want them to learn to walk in the Truth. This world has some crazy lies and misconstructed ideas that they will try to get them to buy into, and it's my job for now to teach them how to walk in truth so they don't get side swiped into believing the lies. 

Yesterday I was having a conversation with Tucker (12) and we were talking a little about the struggle of moving and leaving his friends. I let the talk go on for a few minutes because I think it's important for him to share his thoughts and also because he is a boy and he was having "feelings" so I wanted to maximize on listening...but after a few minutes I said, "I know this is hard, but can you see any way God has provided or done anything good during this time?" After a moment he said, "He has already found a friend for me there (new home)." You can't imagine how excited I was to hear him say this. This was the truth. God has already provided him a friend there and Tucker was voicing the truth. Satan would like nothing better for Tucker than for him to believe that this was a tragic situation, that he would be lonely and alone for the rest of his life, that no one would reach out and that he would never find a friend. I know this sounds dramatic but isn't that exactly what the enemy does...makes us believe the absolute worst situation or conflict or circumstance is the truth??? When it's all a big fat lie. 

There is joy when we hear our children are walking in truth, but before the joy there has to be guidance. We have to model the process. We have to teach our kids how to navigate through the hurdles of lies and the roadblocks of deceit that Satan orchestrates. We have to teach them what the Bible says, how to apply it to our lives and how to ask the right questions and seek the right answers when they are faced with a tough situation. 

This doesn't happen by chance. We have to get busy.

Love and Hate

Proverbs 8:13- Let those who love the Lord hate evil.

I am quick to tell you I don't have this parenting thing figured out. At the end of most days I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the influence the world has over my kids, society, the church, my home and the lost. I hate the evil in the world. 

I watched yesterday as yet another social media source was exposed for its graphic content. The shootings in our schools are outrageous. The drug and alcohol epidemic is rampant and my list of finger-pointing sins could go on and on and on. Some of these things (and other evils in this world) I don't have any control over and yet some, admittedly, I do. 

But here's the thing. Christian parents have boxed evil into "really bad things", while ignoring the small, baby steps that led us to the "really bad things". For instance, Savannah was about 3 (now nearly 16) when I noticed how a popular children's TV channel was dumbing down all adults, but especially dads. The casual and humorous disrespect of adults was subtle but it was there. The irreverence towards the home and the rise of childhood, tween and teen "wisdom" began to be more prevalent. And now, it's no wonder that these 15-18 years olds that we allowed to be indoctrinated by culture and TV are the same ones thinking they know best about just about everything. 

Here's what I am saying. It starts small. And somewhere in all this our love for God has to spur us on to hate evil. And if we don't hate the evil that is enticing our children (and us), do we really love God? I know I am asking a hard question...believe me, I am asking myself too. Bruce and I struggle like most parents to find the balance between holy living and being in this world but not of it. But I am asking myself this question today...Do I love the Lord? Because if I do, His word tells me I will hate evil. Hate...a word that is strong and powerful...a word that we've become accustomed to feel ashamed for saying in today's society for fear of being told we are unaccepting, intolerant or uninclusive. But God's Word trumps the world's word...He says...if you love me, hate the evil...hate the things that I hate, hate the things that entice your children to love anyone, anything more than me. 

We've got to wake up. Evil creeps in and wants to steal our kids by the age of 3-4. Right after the lullabies stop, the evil in this world will be enticing our babies. It's happening. Let's love the Lord enough to hate the evil. And although I don't have all the answers, I know we can start by being more aware and not being afraid to be.the.parent. We can also practice loving the Lord together as families by worshipping and talking about the Lord not just at church, but in everyday conversations that keep the doors open to talk about the hard things kids face today.

I don't know about you but I am so tired of hearing of our kids being sucked into the evil of this world. Let's get back to teaching them to love the Lord. Let's get back to hating evil. Let's get back to paying attention.

Sunday Song

Irony

It's a little ironic that I would begin to blog again at one of the busiest times in my life. Yet...there is a little peace that comes from the quiet moments of sitting down and writing my thoughts. Chaos finds its match in the quiet.

Savannah got her learner's permit this week. It's been an adventure, these first few days of driving. She prefers my coaching so we have been going out each afternoon on our country roads and practicing. She gets better each time she practices... funny how that works.

We are in the midst of moving. With that comes the crazy of cleaning and staging and selling a home...which all happened in about 3 days. Then the packing and the packing and the packing. The chaos abounds.

With this move the family is going in all different directions...some weeks the kids are with me, sometimes with Bruce and sometimes we are all together. We are burning the rubber between here and our new hometown. If you want to know what crazy looks like...look at our debit card record. There are charges from every little town between here and there.

But the irony is...in all of this...we are at perfect peace. There are moments of cray-cray and there are moments of feeling overwhelmed...but never unrest or without the assurance of God's peace. Isn't it beautiful how God gives us peace in the middle of our hectic circumstances?  It's a gift to us, from God, to be able to walk through times of stress, trials, temptations and craziness and still have peace.

I've tried it the other way...I've tried operating in my own strength, in my own way, on my time table and it never works. His way is best...and that's not irony...that's God.