I've thought a lot about what I need to be resolving to do this year. Seems all over the blogs I read, the Facebook friends I follow, the tweets I read …even instagram is full of inspiring quotes and pledges to do everything from the mundane to the extraordinary. And yet, here I sit, not really sure what to say I'm pledging my motivation to. Maybe because it's when you resolve and you do your part, you expect good results…like dieting = lose weight or keeping organized = saved time or clipping coupons = saving money. But what happens when you do your part…you resolve…and follow through and things don't turn our like you think they should.
See…that's one of the lessons I've been learning the past year. Sometimes, you don't get to have control. Sometimes you can do the right things, you can follow God's plan as good as anyone and still things don't turn out like you think they should. Sometimes your resolve is not enough. Sometimes the chips fall where they may and you're left holding the dip (or whatever…cause I've never really understood that cliche').
By no means am I claiming perfection (just in case you've never seen me really mess up things and think that's what I was saying). But what I am saying is that sometimes as hard as I may try to obey God, follow His word, believe He has a greater plan…sometimes things look worse than when I didn't care.
Just ask Noah…I mean, how do you think he and the Mrs. must have felt as they climbed aboard the ark with their 3 sons and their wives…made one last plea for people to get on board and then heard God shut the door. Surely they knew then they had followed God's plan, but what about their hearts and humanity as they listened as those around them succumbed to the waves and water. Surely there wasn't great rejoicing because they had followed God's plan…surely they wondered if this wasn't a worse plan…a plan that couldn't possibly be right. A plan where people died and met eternity in an unbelieving state of heart.
Think of our own Jesus…a sweet baby…a manger…and yet 33 years later brutally beaten….hanging nearly naked, dead upon a cross…how could this possible be the resolved plan of God..the better way? Certainly the surge of pain through an earthly mother's heart begged to ask God….WHY? HOW COULD THIS BE THE BETTER WAY?
Sometimes the better way is messy. Sometimes our good resolutions don't always end up looking so good. Worth it??…oh yes….Just ask Noah or Jesus...but how it leaves us feeling, how it leaves us looking, how it leaves us wondering….is messy. And instead of feeling like you accomplished something wonderfully beautiful….you're left wishing you didn't have to feel anything at all.
But here's the catcher or the clincher or whatever…I'm not responsible for the end result…..that's up to the Lord. I'm responsible for the obedience to His voice, His word, His call. Sure it may look like a poor reflection of me and people may not understand or care and they may mock as Job's friends asked "Where's your God now?" But it doesn't matter…because He trumps every thing that man thinks. His plans are higher and deeper and wider and steeper. WE CANNOT FATHOM THEM! All we know is that after the trying and refining and purifying He promises we will come out of it as gold. Valuable, treasured, worth more than we could ever imagine, priceless….and truly there is nothing more than I want to resolved to be.