Mom Doubts

If there was ever a book that intimidated homeschool moms everywhere, I'd venture to say it was this one. 12 years of homeschooling on the line. 12 years of choosing curriculum, writing out lesson plans, making sure everything she needed to know has been covered. 12 years of hoping I wasn't ruining her life. 12 years of second guessing. 12 years of sitting together at the kitchen table. 12 years of grading, training and praying.

And now it all boils down to this.

4 hours

April 13

OK...ok....ok....maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but haven't we all been there. We stress about things that we really have no control over. We doubt whether what we've done has been enough. We worry we didn't give them enough opportunities. We wonder if we have prepared them enough. 

And here we are....

thinking this one test will determine her future...

that one test will test all she knows...

that one test will prove you did your job...

that one test will make or break your reputation...

Good Grief!!!! Stop the presses!

The reality is, raising kids, no matter how they are schooled, is hard work. It's the biggest and toughest and most rewarding and fulfilling work we will do. But all the pressure isn't on us! Yes, we have a responsibility to train them and teach them God's word. But the end result, the final word, the way it all ends up....that's in God's hand. He already knows what path they will take. He knows if they'll pass that ACT with flying colors or it they'll need a couple of tries to show their best effort. He knows it college or tech school or no school is in their future. He knows the where and the what and the how of college decisions and He knows your child so intimately, that as a loving father would do, He wants to guide them and lead them as they make decisions that will honor Him.

So what's our part???

From what I gather from God's Word it's consistency in talking about the Lord with our kids. It's making Him a normal part of everyday conversation. It's teaching them God's Word. It's being diligent. It's loving them enough to discipline them. It's guiding them as they get older and teaching them to take ownership of their own spiritual life with the Lord. It's being an example. And it's a lot of grace and forgiveness for when WE mess up. 

So whether your kids are small or they're heading off to college soon...or somewhere in between...It's not too late or early to start these habits of good parenting. It's not too late or early to focus on the qualities that will really help them as an adult. It's not too late or early to be an example. And it's not too late or early to accept all the grace and forgiveness God gives us and them. 

So mommas....young and older.....place your doubts in God's hands. He's got this. Do your diligence in raising your kids to love Jesus...But even that isn't ultimately up to you. Just do your part and leave the rest with Him. He loves them more that you could anyway. 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Love and Hate

Proverbs 8:13- Let those who love the Lord hate evil.

I am quick to tell you I don't have this parenting thing figured out. At the end of most days I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the influence the world has over my kids, society, the church, my home and the lost. I hate the evil in the world. 

I watched yesterday as yet another social media source was exposed for its graphic content. The shootings in our schools are outrageous. The drug and alcohol epidemic is rampant and my list of finger-pointing sins could go on and on and on. Some of these things (and other evils in this world) I don't have any control over and yet some, admittedly, I do. 

But here's the thing. Christian parents have boxed evil into "really bad things", while ignoring the small, baby steps that led us to the "really bad things". For instance, Savannah was about 3 (now nearly 16) when I noticed how a popular children's TV channel was dumbing down all adults, but especially dads. The casual and humorous disrespect of adults was subtle but it was there. The irreverence towards the home and the rise of childhood, tween and teen "wisdom" began to be more prevalent. And now, it's no wonder that these 15-18 years olds that we allowed to be indoctrinated by culture and TV are the same ones thinking they know best about just about everything. 

Here's what I am saying. It starts small. And somewhere in all this our love for God has to spur us on to hate evil. And if we don't hate the evil that is enticing our children (and us), do we really love God? I know I am asking a hard question...believe me, I am asking myself too. Bruce and I struggle like most parents to find the balance between holy living and being in this world but not of it. But I am asking myself this question today...Do I love the Lord? Because if I do, His word tells me I will hate evil. Hate...a word that is strong and powerful...a word that we've become accustomed to feel ashamed for saying in today's society for fear of being told we are unaccepting, intolerant or uninclusive. But God's Word trumps the world's word...He says...if you love me, hate the evil...hate the things that I hate, hate the things that entice your children to love anyone, anything more than me. 

We've got to wake up. Evil creeps in and wants to steal our kids by the age of 3-4. Right after the lullabies stop, the evil in this world will be enticing our babies. It's happening. Let's love the Lord enough to hate the evil. And although I don't have all the answers, I know we can start by being more aware and not being afraid to be.the.parent. We can also practice loving the Lord together as families by worshipping and talking about the Lord not just at church, but in everyday conversations that keep the doors open to talk about the hard things kids face today.

I don't know about you but I am so tired of hearing of our kids being sucked into the evil of this world. Let's get back to teaching them to love the Lord. Let's get back to hating evil. Let's get back to paying attention.

Finding Balance in the Everyday

I am the last person who should be blogging about balance.

But God's been teaching me some important lessons these last weeks and I've got to record them...even if it's just for me...but most times...I know others who are a little off balance (LOL) and maybe these God lessons can help you too.

I realized I was off balance years ago. It's when I fell head first in love with crocheting....and I decided in a 48 hour period of time I would crochet 20 cotton dishrags so I could give one to every lady in our tiny church in Beaumont. Which meant I would spent 20 of the next 48 hours crocheting. And in the remainder hours I would tend to my household responsibilities, make the food for the ladies meeting and decorate for the meeting....and maybe...just maybe sleep a few hours. So I crocheted and crocheted and crocheted...until my arms were about to fall off my body. And then I cooked and decorated and hosted the ladies gathering and then I slept(after it was over)...I was a mess by the time the event started....sleep deprived, sore "no please don't hug me" arms, and giddy with exhaustion. Not the good giddy...the kind where everything is funny....hysterically funny....I knew I had bit off more than I could chew.

But yet, I've done it again....countless times actually. But now it's different. There are other people involved.....kids who are watching me juggle, hear me complain when I am tired and most of all are taking in my attitudes towards serving them and others. Now...the stakes are higher. So I've got to get this in check.

God's been teaching me something about this balance. About being called into service of my family first, then any other ministries He sets before me. As a wife, my first duties are to Bruce. And then the kids....yes....then the kids...after Bruce. Not a popular stand at all to take in our kid-first society but I'm gonna tell you something....If he's not first (after God) then you're doing it wrong. Savannah and Tucker see the way we treat each other, how we speak about each other and how we serve each other. Statistics show they will choose spouses largely on what they see from their own parents....Scary, huh? I'm blessed with a husband who treats me like a queen. I'm a very fortunate wife.

The second thing in the balancing of everyday is that my kids don't need everything right now. They might think they do, but if I can teach them that life isn't an emergency and that patience in living and getting and giving is the way to go then I will have added balance to their lives and mine. The urgency they might feel to acquire something can be great insights into what they value and even to some degree what they idolize. There are great spiritual truths to be talked through and taught through if we take the time.

Lastly, I'm finding balance in my service to others. There are many groups of people in the Bible that we are told to serve. The widows, orphans, hungry, outcast, the grieving, the heartbroken.... to name a few. I have no choice but to find something to do to serve these ...I've been commanded to...it's not a choice...In fact....it's a sign that I have in some form true religion....true relationship with the Lord. How I serve them can be done in a variety of ways....but there's one thing for sure....I can't accomplish that if my life is so full of other stuff that I can't do or think or pray or meet with them.

I'm thankful for the lessons God's taught me in the midst of my unbalance....I'm thankful He can see this mixed up heart and know the motives of a woman who takes on too much, juggles more than she should and takes her eyes of the one who walks on water because she sees a cruise ship off in the distance. He rescues me in spite of my spiritual ADDness and give me great hope that He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. Thank you Jesus.

What about you....what gets you sidetracked? What leaves you feeling off kilter? How do you stay balanced?

Helping Our Kids Overcome Rejection

I was twelve the first time I remember being rejected or treated unkindly by people I trusted. I had fallen into a group of mean girls without really knowing it. Until I became their prey. I remember how I felt when I finally realized I was the butt of all their jokes. I remember that awful sinking feeling. I remember wondering if everyone else had seen it coming...or better yet, were they all laughing too. It was horrible...and not in the mom can take me to get ice cream and it will be all better then sense. The feelings were long lasting...and eventually influenced the way I made friends in the future.

So here I am 30 ....30 long years later. And I am beginning to face these same issues with my own kids. And it hurts almost as bad worse than it did back in 1984. And it isn't gender specific. In fact Tucker was hurt before Savannah was....which seemed a little weird to me. But it happened.

The thing is, I can't change the fact that the world is full of mean, unkind, careless and thoughtless people who do not filter their words. In fact, sadly, if I am honest, I've even contributed to that audience before. But what I can do is train/discipline my kids to respond correctly and Biblically when treated in a less than desirable way.

Here's a few things I am working on....maybe they will help you with your kids too:

1. Consider immediate forgiveness. If it's something that is trivial could I forgive them quickly and minimize damage to the relationship? Sometimes this can happen if it's a first time offense or if kids were just joking and took it a little too far. Sometimes we don't have to make it a big deal.

2. Consider the source. Is this someone who lacks self-control with their words? Were they showing off, trying to one up someone else? Don't feel like you have to correct a fool. They don't take it well.

3. Is there truth to what's been said? Even if said with hurtful intentions, sometimes we can grow if we can sift the truth from what's been said.

4. Is it habitual? Is the meanness a pattern that is present consistently in the person's life? Is that the type of person you want to be known with?

5. Process the words said to/about you. Is that what God thinks about you? What does His word say about you? His words are the most important the only ones that matter.

6. How can you communicate with the offender that He/She has hurt you? What if they don't care? What if they just continue? Sometimes they might not even know they hurt you. Sometimes they might not have been paying attention.

7. No matter how hurt you are, you can always be kind. Sometimes kindness is quiet and sometimes the kindest thing you can do is confront. But whatever you do, react is such a Christ-like manner that it is obvious you are coming out of great love for them. Sometimes your gentle spirit might be just the thing God uses to soften their hearts.

So many time I hear parents say, "Find new friends", or "We'll show them", or "Sticks and stones...", but the facts are that if we don't teach our kids how to process the world's actions on their lives, we will raise our own generation of "mean" kids....because they do not know who they are in Christ. They will retaliate with the same meanness and hatred and pride that mean kids do today...it will look no different and the cycle will continue.

Let's take the time to invest in our kids the Biblical way God designed for us to handle our differences. His word is full of instruction on that. He has not left us in the dark.

I'd love to hear how you help your kids cope with rejection, mean kids, hurtful words....leave a comment if you've got a tip.

Mom Lessons

I was talking to a friend today about VBS and because we are moms and we can multitask we also talked about a hundred other things too. I know...we are genius.

In the middle of our conversation we started talking about how quickly our kids are growing up...like so quick that the words..."Even so, Lord Jesus come"... came out of one of our mouths. We were talking about the guilt most moms....even us, feel when we aren't able or don't choose to play with our kids or do something with them when we have a spare minute or two ...or maybe even an hour.

Let me be clear...I'm not talking about neglect. I'm not talking about leaving your kids for hours and hours and not providing for them properly. I'm not talking about being an absentee parent.

I'm talking about the obsession of occupying every spare minute of our kids time. I'm talking about feeling false guilt when we aren't entertaining their every waking moment with games and movies and shopping and amusement parks and travel and sports. It seems in our efforts to be good parents we've equated good with entertainment...with busyness....with an unbalanced perspective on what's good for our children and with a distorted and yes, even unbiblical view of parenting.

Growing up my mom was the epitome of a homemaker...she worked in our home everyday to be sure it was well taken care of, our yard was landscaped due to her green thumb and she managed to raise three productive kids, was the caretaker for my down syndrome uncle and worked and served in our church and community. What she didn't do....was entertain us 24/7. She was a wife and mom and her responsibilities in those two areas she took very seriously but I don't remember her playing blocks or dolls or Lego's or spending her waking hours stressing over how we were going to spend our summers.

What she did do....Once a month she made the trek to SAM's to buy groceries. SAM's was about 45 minutes from our house and most of the time I accompanied her on these trips. We'd do the shopping, just the two of us and then we'd stop at McDonald's and buy and large fry to split and two drinks. I remember it like it was yesterday....Driving the navy blue Chrysler Fifth Avenue through the drive through....sharing the fries on the long drive home and sipping my coca-cola. I remember us talking and I remember her making me feel so important and special during those trips. I remember conversations we had like it was just yesterday. It cost $2 and 1.5 hours roundtrip. These SAM's trip transformed my adolescent years.

I remember her service towards others....and how she allowed us kids to be a part....from senior citizen trips to Helen, Ga...and helping at the crisis pregnancy center and coordinating our nurseries at  church. But it wasn't just her....she encouraged us to serve too. As we grew older, I remember my brother and I both willingly being involved in bus ministry and the homeless shelter....and now I realize that it's largely due to the example she set for us. She showed us the joy you receive by serving others. And these are my special memories....and now they've become mom lessons. Lessons that speak louder than her basketball game attendance or vacations....although they are memories that fill my heart with much fondness. Those memories of how she made me feel....important, special, valuable, loved, cherished, cared for....those are the memories that I want my kids to feel towards me...and towards the Lord.

And I know all kids receive and give love differently but at the end of the day I don't want it to be filled with so much activity that my kids can't hear my heart towards them or God's heart to them. I don't want them to look back on childhood wondering if I loved them because they were smart of athletic or if God loves them just because they are "good". I want there to be memorable moments when they heard the words from me...."You're amazing...not because of the goals you scored or the grades you made or the speed of your pitch. You're a fantastic kid because you're created and fashioned by a God who loves you and wants you to know Him!" After all...if they learn that lesson, haven't they learned the most important lesson?

So if you're a mom like me, trying to figure out how to make the most of long summer days and the too hot days of July...maybe we can join together to commit to have those sweet talks and conversations and maybe we can give that one on one attention with a cold ice cream cone or a coca-cola or evening a large fry from McDonald's. Maybe we can agree to slow down..just a tad....and remind our kids that they are special and unique and individual...created by a God who desires a relationship with them. Maybe we can model loving Him and loving others. And maybe we can serve together with them...once or twice this summer so they can see the world is bigger than just their little circle...so they can see what's important goes way beyond good grades, busy schedules, the World Cup, and the safety of their own nest.

Maybe we can learn this mom lesson together.

Day #15 Beautiful Dust Bunnies and Dirty Laundry

See the complete List of Beautiful Things HERE

Fellow Mommas,

I've only been doing the mom things for 11 years. Some of you have been doing it much much longer, but whether you're a veteran or a new mom, there is a common bond between us...whether it comes from intense labor, the terrible twos, or the pride and joy of just being blessed with this beautiful job of raising the next generation, I'm not sure. But I'm glad to be a part of the unofficial club.

There were a few things I underestimated before I became a mom..

- the amount of talking these kids would do.
- the amount of dirty laundry they would produce.
- the amount of time it would take to instruct and train them.
- the tears of joy I would cry over them.
- the blessing and pride I would feel as I watch them make good decisions
- the trust I would need to put their lives in God's hands

and my list could go on and on and on.

Other moms can describe the feelings of becoming a mom but it doesn't do it justice. There's no words to describe your personal feelings about the blessing it is to be "The Mom" on a good day. But let's get real....some days the days aren't good.

In any "job" or "calling" there are off days. Days where the employee doesn't get everything done, gets mad at the boss, frustrated with co-workers, questions God. Why do we think mothering is any different? We all have those days.

Recently I was thinking to myself..."Why can't I seem to get it all together?" "Shouldn't this be easier no that I am home full time?" "Where the heck do all these dust bunnies come from?"

And maybe you've thought the same thing...or at least something similar. Let me tell you something that I am in the thick of learning- This parenting thing...it's hard work....important work...a heavenly assignment. Sure I've known this in my head since 2002. But I'm paying better attention lately and quite frankly, I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified to raise two kids to become high functioning adults in a postmodern world.

Thank God...that's not my job!!!

What I'm in the throws of learning is that my job is to train them to be a reflection of Jesus....and even that is mostly the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives. What I do is create an environment where they are exposed to Jesus, His people, His Word, His love...and I let Him do the rest. I'm not really the one in charge....it's up to Him. As we do Bible study at home, go to church, sing in the car, discipline them...it's all about what Jesus is doing and so little about what I am actually doing. He's got these kids....their hearts....already. Thankfully I get to play this small, but important role in giving them the tools to know Him better. But the growth...that part...it's between them and God...I can't make it happen.

Hebrews 11:6 says: But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

This verse has comforted me in times when I have felt overwhelmed with parenting. But the beautiful promise is that God rewards those who diligently seek Him. If there was ever an area in my life that I need to be seeking Him in...it's how to raise my kids. But I know who my God is...and He knows my name....and He is a rewarder of wisdom and of grace...of which I need in bulk daily. 

So, how about we spend just a little less time thinking about the dirty laundry and the dust bunnies and maybe a few more minutes in the "diligently seeking" department. In the end, there will be plenty of time to catch those bunnies and do the laundry...but these days...the ones we are living and breathing right this second.... are flying by... flying...by.

I'm Not Raising the Preacher's Kids

Don't you just love it when you place unrealistic expectations on yourself, or better yet, when others place them on you. I've always been prone to listen to others advice- whether solicited or not. And sometimes, I've taken it to heart, sometimes I've walked away rolling my eyes, and sometimes I've been hurt.

When Bruce and I had children we knew they would not be perfect. How could they be? We were raising them, and we are about the furthest thing from perfect! Surprise, surprise, surprise (in my best Gomer Pyle voice....you might need to google that). Imperfect people cannot raise perfect children. So, my kids were destined to be a mess. We prayed that God would give us wisdom and grace to raise them to be godly, that they would know Christ at an early age, fix their eyes on HIM and never look away. I don't pretend that we have even touched the hem of doing it right. We are not finished raising them (are parents ever really finished?)

But one thing I know is that I'm not raising the "preacher's kids" anymore than a plumber should be stereotyped to be raising "plumber's kids". I've done it before- placed unrealistic expectations on people ...only to be sorely disappointed when they fail me. Shame on me. I know I don't want that expectation of raising perfect kids just because they belong to the preacher.....Oh, but wait.....

They don't belong to the preacher. See, way back when the kids were super little, still in our arms, we gave them back to the Lord. Much like Hannah did Samuel. So, they are God's kids. His. Not mine. Not the preacher's. We're the earthly instrument to pointing them toward their Heavenly Father. I'm not trying to raise perfect preacher's kids. I'm trying to guide imperfect children to God. And I will fail. And they will fail. I will make stupid mistakes....and they will and do too. They will do things that make me sad and joyful. They will make me proud and disappointed....and perhaps, if your eyes are on them, you will feel the same. I'm sorry. We are a work in progress.

Thankfully, I don't feel like we are under a micro-scope, like I hear from other ministry friends across the country. Thankfully I feel like grace upon grace has been given to my kids. Thankfully for the most part, they make me very proud. Thankfully God has already captured their hearts.

But, as we make our way in parenting, let's encourage each other. Be another parent's biggest cheerleader. Tell another mom "you're doing it right". Or ask a good mom, "What did you do right?". This world will beat you down and tell you it's not worth it to do this parenting thing with all your heart. But just like that marathon runner who finished their last mile of a race...the work you do in parenting may not be completely realized until the race is complete...or at least further down the road.

Recently I sat at lunch with three teenage boys who travel singing with their father, who is an evangelist. They were the most polite, well spoken, gentlemanly young men I have ever met. At dinner the same night, I sat across the table from a close mutual family friend and asked her what she felt like had been a factor in raising such responsible, godly young men...since in the world today that is so incredibly rare. Her response was that she had watched the parents....Consistently pointing them to Christ. 

That's my goal. Send them to Jesus, point them to Christ. Because I'm not raising preacher's kids.....they are on loan to me....for just a few years.....God's kids, and I want them to know their Father...to walk in His steps, to know His voice. That's the goal. Give them Jesus.

Day 17 of 24 Days of Thanks

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend a little time with my students and their grandmothers at Muffins for Mom at school. Nothing thrills me like seeing good parents interact with their kids. Watching each mom sit quietly with their child for some one on one and muffins sure made me thankful for their participation in their own child's life. 

I love that God pieces our earthly families together. He knows just how the puzzle should look. His grace and patience as we work the puzzle must be enormous...especially in those early years of child rearing where there's lots of diapers and not so lots of sleep! 

I'm thankful for my little family. As a young married woman I wished for more kids than I have now, but God knew the future. He knew the struggles, the heartache and the pain that was ahead and He knew how He would be most glorified. I'm thankful for the extreme joy He's given us through our kids and the wonderful gift they are to us. 

Doing Hard Things

A couple of years ago I read a book entitled, Do Hard Things. This book is the personal story of two brothers whose parents weren't afraid of teaching their boys the value of hard work, determination, perseverance and goal setting. From school work, to chores, to Christian living....these boys have exceeded the average and excelled in areas that even most adults only dream of.

I've been thinking about my expectations of my own children and what I am teaching them by my life and by my instruction lately. We are out of school for three months and I don't want this to be a summer full of channel surfing and sun bathing. While there will be time for that, I want them to learn a little about teamwork, hard work and determination. So, we started with some simple chores yesterday.

Scrubbing down cabinets

 Does Anyone Else have a tupperware cabinet that looks like this?????

All in all this lesson only took about 20-30 minutes, but let me tell you what was neat to see later in the day. When Bruce got home he asked the kids what they had been up to and they were eager to tell him about their chores they had helped with. There was a certain pride in learning to organize and scrub....and doing something a little more difficult than just making a bed or gathering laundry....which yes, they still have to do!

So....here's a question....What kind of chores to do have your kids do? Do you think it's important to teach them harder things (in all areas) or can it wait til they are older and bigger? I'd love to hear your thoughts on these points. 

The Hard Stuff

"Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love." Somebody smart said that.

Because on this blog you get the good, the bad and the funny, I know you'll understand when I say that sometimes your parents words come back to haunt you....and that's sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes it's funny.

Did your folks ever say:

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? Yeah....that's the one that's haunting me tonight. It's been a rough day....and unfortunately  fortunately I think some lessons have been learned. For me....I totally got that hurting feeling you feel when you know you've disciplined your child, but it's been painful for both of you. Yes, there were tears, hugs, talking, guidance and for us, prayer.

Prayer.

Together and separately. While I was praying for wisdom, peace, guidance and direction, I'm pretty sure my child was probably praying for a pardon. But not this time. Nope. This was the time that we had to deal. And it was hard. And it was unpleasant. And it hurt me as much as it did them. And I don't want to ever have to do it again. But I will. Probably sooner than I want to think about. Because discipline and punishment are part of growing and becoming and learning and maturing and loving.

And I do love my kids.
And my God who told us how to handle this delicate hard stuff.

Thank you Lord.

Things I'll Miss

As I was cleaning the house a little today I almost got frustrated with some of the clutter that seems to appear on a daily basis. Then I remembered how quickly the years are flying by and that actually these things that might frustrate me now, will be some of the very things that I miss the most. My list looks a little something like this:

I'll miss...

1. Matchbox cars lined up on the edge of the bathtub where Tuck has lined them up to dry off after a splash in the bath with him.

2. Savannah's many markers and other writing utensils that I find in every nook and cranny in the house. What a creative little chick she is becoming.

3. Fighting over the computer with my kids. They both love investigating and surfing....almost as much as me!

4. Laundry....every last piece. As I was doing the mountain of laundry this week I was thinking about how much my kids have grown this year alone. Jeans I bought Tucker at the beginning of the school year barely fit him now....and I wonder have I done what I could to help him grow in the love and admonition of His heavenly Father too.

5. Happy Meal toys....or the like. My feet are like magnets to these little things! On the floor at midnight seems to be the most likely place my feet me them!

These are just a few of the things I was thinking about today as I worked around the house. Those moments that sometimes frustrate me the most turned into a little time of reflection and nostalgia when I remembered how far God's brought this little foursome of mine. He's been so faithful and good. These things I'll miss will grow and grow as the kids do, but hopefully we will be embracing each of those seconds with love and care...being careful not to miss them and the opportunities each one brings.

How 'bout you? Anything you'll miss?

Second Guessing

I've been second guessing myself (and ultimately God) a lot lately.

Second guessing....

Relationships...
Who I am....
Who I want to be....
What I am suppose to say....
When I'm supposed to say it...
Why God lets things happen....
What my calling is and what that looks like right now...
What to have for dinner....
Whether or not to work out....
Who really loves me....I mean really really really loves me...
What kind of mother I am....

And the list goes on....and on, but you get the picture. Before you call the local crazy house, I'm not losing it (well, most days anyway) because God is teaching me something. It's like in the midst of all this God says..."Let me". That's it. "Let me".

Let me....

Be the one to decide your relationships
Be the one to direct your ministry steps
Be the one to give you words to say
Be the one to show you when to say those words
Be the one to love you with an everlasting love
Be the one you trust when things go wrong, or you're disappointed, lonely and feeling insecure
Be the one to teach you how to care for this vessel
Be the one to show you how to guide your children

And in those midnight hours when I'm eyes wide open, I'm learning to experience that "Let God" peace.  It's a process. It's hard. I'm miles from the finish line (heaven)....and I feel like most days I am walking two paces and stepping back one....but I'm trying to let God. In all honesty, this is too much for me. I can't juggle these things without Him. I've tried. I've failed. I need Him...seems like more each day...or maybe I am just continuing to learn inch by inch that life is easier that way...the "let God" way.

Out with the Old

Happy New Year!

I love the turn of one month to the next and even more so, one year to the next. There's just something about that clean slate feeling. God even knew how much we would relish do-overs...He tells us His mercies are NEW every MORNING. Thank you Lord!

I'm giving this year to the Lord in a way I haven't before. I really do want each day to amount to something good....but in the quietness of this particular moment, I know that in order for that to happen I have to throw out some old habits and even "good" things and set my eyes on eternity, Jesus and the things that are valued in HIS eyes.

So here are a few things I am hoping to throw out this year:

1. Negative self-talk - you know....the kind that talks back at you in the mirror or when you think about a bad experience...yes, that one. I am going to embrace the scriptures and God's thoughts about me.

2. Busyness - I'm not promoting laziness - I am promoting a lifestyle of doing things that will matter down the road....like being more intentional with my kids, writing more, being more hospitable, encouraging more. But I'm throwing off wasting time and the life sucking activities that are the culprits for stress and fatigue.

3. Disorganization- I'd like to become that super clean freakishly crazy obsessive cleaning machine...but it's not gonna happen. It's not me. What I would like to throw out is all the "stuff" that is making my life way more cluttered than I like. I do this every year and would really like to stay organized for more than 2 weeks this year! Let the kitchen cabinet cleaning begin!

4. Lazy parenting- now I will talk about laziness. I am throwing it out....Bruce and I told the kids (maybe warned is a better word) today at the family table that there were going to be some changes coming beginning Monday. They include a detailed chore chart, menu planning, financial planning and more. I know that some of those things might not scream PARENTING, but, I think if we can be more diligent about teaching our kids how to work hard, live healthy, manage their money then we will have done a good job in raising responsible adults. Spiritually we will be spending a great deal of time focusing on Kindness and Obedience with Tucker (and ...if you've hung with Tucker recently then you probably know why these are our primary focuses). For Savannah we are hoping to help her overcome her fear of bad weather by recognizing God is in control of all our days....what an accomplishment if we can help her learn this lesson this early in her life!

5. Self-abuse- Now before you dial 911, let me assure you that I am not doing anything drastic to myself. BUT.....I am throwing out NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. First, I want to take better care of myself spiritually. Reading and memorizing God's Word, reading books that will assist me in my walk and journaling more about the work God is doing. Physically, I have never taken care of myself. I rarely go to the doctor, it's been at least 4 years since I got new glasses, I buy cheap shampoo, rarely use lotion (is this becoming TMI?) and will skip breakfast or eat something totally gross and unhealthy if I need to. I don't get regular hair cuts, I forget to moisturize, I don't get pedicures unless my mom is in town, I will suffer when I don't need to....and this is all STUPID and very UNWISE!....and doesn't earn me any points in the MOMgame. This physical body isn't going to last forever and even though cheap shampoo isn't going to kill me...taking better care of myself is definitely something God is CONVICTING me that I need to do. So eating better foods, taking better care of myself and setting a better example are things I am going to work hard at in 2011. Hopefully by doing a few things for myself I will be better equipped to serve others.

So....there you have it. The old stuff. The garbage. The gunk that's gettin' thrown away. Goodbye old....hello new year. What are you going to work on in 2011?

Budgets

Today I spent the day with this gal:

She's grown so much over the last year that a shopping trip was in order. Dad told her she had X amount of dollars to spend and that she couldn't go over it. So we headed out to her favorite stores...Children's Place, Old Navy and Kohl's. She found some great deals and came home with lots of summer clothes that FIT! She did a really great job weighing her purchases. Once she even found something that she really liked, but decided it was just too much for her to spend on it. I was so proud of her!

Teaching our kids about money is one of the most difficult things about parenting. I want them to understand that money doesn't grow on trees, that we are to be generous with what we do have, and that saving for a rainy day is essential in these tough times...and always. Such adult things to be teaching them, yet foundational in raising children to be adults with a clear head about finances.

Wow....who knew this parenting gig would be so tough! Thankfully God' word has plenty to say about money, saving, debt and other stewardship topics. He's got it covered!

For those who've wondered...AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

As a mom, as each new year dawns, I have a special talk with myself....it goes something like this:

Self: How's it going with the kids? Are they healthy? Growing? Happy? Learning? Exploring?
Where do we need to re-strategize? What changes need to be made? Where do they need to be taught more? Disciplined more? Guided more? Where are they struggling spiritually? What can you do to help?

Have you ever been there? Wondering if you're doing this parenting thing right or not? Well, I will testify that I make my fair share of mistakes, but there have been a few things that I have learned along the way, or that others learned and passed on to me, that have helped me.

Here are just a few:

1. Put my husband first.
2. Hug and Kiss my husband in front of my kids (they laugh and snicker...but it's good and healthy for them to see us affectionate towards each other)
3. Divide and conquer. Thankfully Bruce is an excellent father and is more than willing to help with the kids...this has included our nightly rotation with the kids when they were younger . We alternated nights to care for the babies when they were still waking in the middle of the night. That ensured we each got a good nights sleep at least every other night of the week. And a good nights sleep goes a long way in a marriage...and in parenting.
4. Pray with and for your kids...even when they are babies.
5.Don't over schedule- for yourself or the kids.
6. Make sure that you are excited about the things of the Lord. That will spill out to your kids.
7. Talk about spiritual things with your kids. Let them see you living your faith out every day.
8. There are plenty of ways to correct your children. Spanking is only one of them.
9. Don't start allowing your kids to do, wear or act one way when they are 2 years old and then change the rules when they are 13. You'll save yourself a ton of heartache.
10. Don't let media have a greater influence on your kids than you. Monitor TV, music and literature. Talk with your kids about pop-culture and explain appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

Without exception, my own private prayer life has been strengthened by being a parent. We place expectations on ourselves and our children that are sometimes unreasonable. Seeking God's face  and searching for His plan for our family are key in any parenting plan. Thankfully the Lord gives us plenty of scriptures to dive into regarding his plan for the family.

See Deuteronomy 4:9-10, Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Deuteronomy 11:18-19, Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 23:13-14 , Proverbs 29:15 , Proverbs 29:17 , Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21.

What are you doing right? Share your thoughts- I'd love to hear about them!