Mom Doubts

If there was ever a book that intimidated homeschool moms everywhere, I'd venture to say it was this one. 12 years of homeschooling on the line. 12 years of choosing curriculum, writing out lesson plans, making sure everything she needed to know has been covered. 12 years of hoping I wasn't ruining her life. 12 years of second guessing. 12 years of sitting together at the kitchen table. 12 years of grading, training and praying.

And now it all boils down to this.

4 hours

April 13

OK...ok....ok....maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but haven't we all been there. We stress about things that we really have no control over. We doubt whether what we've done has been enough. We worry we didn't give them enough opportunities. We wonder if we have prepared them enough. 

And here we are....

thinking this one test will determine her future...

that one test will test all she knows...

that one test will prove you did your job...

that one test will make or break your reputation...

Good Grief!!!! Stop the presses!

The reality is, raising kids, no matter how they are schooled, is hard work. It's the biggest and toughest and most rewarding and fulfilling work we will do. But all the pressure isn't on us! Yes, we have a responsibility to train them and teach them God's word. But the end result, the final word, the way it all ends up....that's in God's hand. He already knows what path they will take. He knows if they'll pass that ACT with flying colors or it they'll need a couple of tries to show their best effort. He knows it college or tech school or no school is in their future. He knows the where and the what and the how of college decisions and He knows your child so intimately, that as a loving father would do, He wants to guide them and lead them as they make decisions that will honor Him.

So what's our part???

From what I gather from God's Word it's consistency in talking about the Lord with our kids. It's making Him a normal part of everyday conversation. It's teaching them God's Word. It's being diligent. It's loving them enough to discipline them. It's guiding them as they get older and teaching them to take ownership of their own spiritual life with the Lord. It's being an example. And it's a lot of grace and forgiveness for when WE mess up. 

So whether your kids are small or they're heading off to college soon...or somewhere in between...It's not too late or early to start these habits of good parenting. It's not too late or early to focus on the qualities that will really help them as an adult. It's not too late or early to be an example. And it's not too late or early to accept all the grace and forgiveness God gives us and them. 

So mommas....young and older.....place your doubts in God's hands. He's got this. Do your diligence in raising your kids to love Jesus...But even that isn't ultimately up to you. Just do your part and leave the rest with Him. He loves them more that you could anyway. 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Teaching Tuesday

When things aren't working like you'd hoped they would...

When your kids are behind in school and you don't know how to help...

When extra pressures are frustrating you and them...

What do you do?

We are facing some of these issues right now in our home. We have had a rough year getting everything in for school partly because of our recent move, partly because of scheduling conflicts and partly because when we are stressed we can become dysfunctional and a little stress-paralyzed. I pray I am not the only one.

But because we do homeschool, I feel an enormous amount of pressure to get back on track fast when these things happen. So last night as I was talking with Savannah, I realized she was feeling an enormous amount of pressure...school, friends, future, small business, ACT testing....it was just getting to her. So we paused. Cried. Evaluated. Regrouped. Prayed and made a plan. We are going to go to a more collegiate schedule for her school, where she can focus three days on the subjects that really eat her lunch and two days on the ones that she eases through. I could see relief on her face as soon as we made the decision. Hopefully this will work.

But isn't that the beauty of homeschooling?....getting to adjust the schedule when you need to....making it work for the student and the teacher....looking at the makeup of the child and getting to do what is best for her? I love it. It's not the first time we've rerouted and I am sure it won't be the last. 

I am sure glad God's grace is bigger than our bad days....because even in homeschooling we need that new grace and mercy everyday.

Artificial Intelligence

I am not into science...or anything related to it. I don't even really know how I made it out of high school without a better knowledge....oh wait...yes I do. Artificial intelligence. It's the same way I've gotten through many predicaments in my life. Knowing just enough to get by. (Computers, math, crafting, gardening....the list could go on....I bring the phrase "jack of all trades, master of none" to a whole new level.)

But it seems like God has a sense of humor and since I homeschool a seventh grader and third grader, I'm having to study science again....and artificial intelligence is not getting me through this. It's getting real...the struggle, the disinterest, the boredom of science. I'm sorry I've tried. It's hard to understand and frankly I don't wanna...I want to go read a good book or pluck my eyes out or pull weeds.....anything...but science.

I recently found myself having those similar words with God over an issue in His Word. You know the ones we like to skim over. For me, it's the ones that I struggle with the most....the ones that talk about my sin, my hurts, my failures, my disasters...I like to just read over those verses in righteous artificial intelligence and go on to the ones that talk about someone else's sin or just make me feel better. I want to hear all about God's grace and love and His care for me....but I don't want to dwell too long when He's talking about a sin I struggle with or He strikes a nerve. I don't want to understand my sin or what His word says about it any more than I do science...really.

Now don't get me wrong. I believe we should walk freely...out of bondage and embracing the things of God that make us live differently. I believe we should be changed by what we've experienced so that we don't walk with our heads hung in guilt and shame. But in that same gasping breath I want to also say that I believe we don't like to think too long on what we've been rescued from and every now and then, it's good to park it for a little bit and remember the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus. To pause over those hard verses. To reflect.

When I read over a verse in the Bible that hurts me a little....it's a reminder that He is still working on me..that I am a grand design...that I have more to learn. It reminds me of where He's brought me from. It's humbling. And instead of skimming or skipping over it because it is hard, uncomfortable, uninteresting, boring or (cough, cough) convicting, I'm trying to stay there for a moment....trying to figure the scripture out...trying to be uncomfortable in His presence....IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE sometimes....and while He is my greatest friend....He is also my Holy Lord...and I am so not...holy sometimes. And that makes it uncomfortable.

At the end....at the last breath....I don't want an artificial intelligence. I don't want to be the faker...who knows all the good verses and can get to Hezekiah the fastest (don't look...it's not there) ...the one who can spit out scripture but has no real personal understanding of the work of God in their own life because they've skimmed and skipped over verses that were hard or challenging or convicting. I want wisdom and knowledge and discretion. And I will only get that by becoming a student of Jesus and His Words....not by pulling a science stunt...and just getting by with the help of a few notecards and a friend who takes good notes. I've got to dig in myself...stick it out in the awkward and hard and uncomfortable places and THEN....those verses about grace and love and peace and comfort mean infinitely more to me because I see where He's brought me from.

And I don't know about you....but there's nothing artificial about that.

Teacher Pay Teacher Store- Love N Learn

A few years ago I found a great resource to use as a teacher. The Teacher Pay Teacher Site has thousands of teaching resources for every imaginable subject, created by teachers for teachers to use in their classrooms. I fell in love with all the well designed unit studies and used many of them in my classroom.

Since then I've piddled with uploading my own teacher created documents, offering many of them for free, as is the way of teacher pay teacher. As I've made things for my own kids I've uploaded them and have been pleasantly surprised that others have found them useful in any way. So,  if you're looking for a way to keep your preschool and elementary students from the summer slump of 2014, you might take a peak over there at my little store that is just beginning. Many items are free, with nothing in my store is priced over $2.00. I'm still learning all the ins and outs of the marketing side of all this...and honestly it feels a little weird to even be telling anyone about it. But I know teacher pay teacher is a great resource for teachers everywhere so I didn't want to keep it a secret...plus it earns this stay at home mom a little mad money.

So, take a peak, when you have time...and browse the site. It's a pretty neat little community.

Love N Learn is my store name...CLICK HERE to take a peak!

Or go directly to a few favorite pages:

Over the Rainbow Math Games

Popsicle Activities

Spring Math Combo

Or go to a few of my free downloads:

This one's been downloaded 1,654 times: Sequencing

This one's been downloaded 1,607 times: Greater than Less than Cards

This ones been downloaded 1,396 times: 1-50 number sequencing

Have fun browsing!

When You Share What You Know

When you share what you know...

1. You teach

2. You encourage

3. You motivate

4. You inspire

5. You help

6. You give peace

7. You give understanding

8. You promote oneness

9. You are generous

10. You make yourself vulnerable

11. You mentor

12. You bless

13. You give wisdom

14. You help prevent problems

15. You show the way

16. You lead

17. You comfort

18. You give insight

19. You calm fears

20. You  _________________.


I was blessed this week by a group of homeschool moms that made time to get together and share what they know about teaching and parenting. I can't tell you everything I gained....so much more than I imagined...even to some degree so much more than I can even completely comprehend. I'm still sorting through the wealth of advice, encouragement, curriculum and ideas that we exchanged. I'm beginning my 8th year of homeschool and find myself still needing the blessing of friends who walk this road too.

Whether you homeschool or not isn't really the point of this post...It's sharing what you know. When we are selfish and keep what we know a secret for whatever reason, we rob others of the wisdom God has given us through our own life experiences. You never know who will hear your story and be inspired and motivated. Let's be a people that is eager to share with those around you. Stingy people don't get nearly the satisfaction and fulfillment that generous people do.

Be generous. Share.

Homeschool 2013-2014 Recap

In my head I had all these plans of homeschooling hands-on and enjoying every moment with my kids as we learned around the table or kitchen sink or in the garden or at the library. It was going to be a beautiful, nearly holy, experience. I envisioned quiet afternoons of me reading orally to the kids while they hug on every word of some classic. 

And instead....our school year went more like this:

Messes...big ones

Marker marks on the table

Frustration

Forcing them to stay awake as we read orally

Discoveries

Serving Others

Unsuccessful projects

Unused books

Unread biographies

Fractions (need I say more???)

Impatience

Tears

Laughter

Dance breaks

Scripture 

Doubts

Phonics

Tom Sawyer

Cursive

Maps

Poetry

Biology

Snacks 

Fun

And moments of questioning my sanity....many moments. I'm not even going to say the good outweighed the bad....But I will say God's grace outweighed my frustration, doubts and tears. You see, when I realized God was calling me homeschool both my kids (I've homeschooled Savannah since kinder) I was 100% sure that I heard Him correctly. And when I resigned my teaching position, I was 100% sure I was doing what He had asked of me. But fast forward a few months to a string of bad days, difficult math, frustrated kids and mom and a deficiency of diet coke...and I wasn't sure about this act of obedience. In fact...the struggle is still very real. 

I'm still wondering..

Did they get what they needed this year?

Did I do a good enough job?

Is this really what's best for our family?

Are they stronger spiritually because of this year?

Do we do THIS again? Or something different?

It's not really any different than any other decisions we make for our family...seeking God, His will, constantly reviewing our decisions to be sure we are still on track with His plans. But listen...when His plans and your obedience are all about molding, shaping and modeling Christ to this next generation...well, it can get a little scary. I can't do it alone. Just saying'. So I'm listening more closely after a year....trying to be super-sensitive to His plan for us. Some might not think it's that important or that I take this calling too seriously but really??? What is more important than teaching and shaping and showing this generation about what's really important to know...Jesus. And sure...I know reading, writing and math are important...but who really wants to be around anyone who knows it all but lacks grace and love and peace??

Besides, it's only by HIS strength my crew even made it out alive from this year! And thankfully His mercies were new every single morning. And I am counting on that again tomorrow and the next day and the next. 

And my kids will be ok as long as they learn those lessons...about grace and new mercies and listening to God's voice. Because in the end...that's the most important lesson of all.

So what's in store for us for next year? Homeschool again. Different curriculum for some classes and lots more reading....and writing ....and arithmetic, with heavy doses of grace and mercy...every day. 

The Homeschool Schedule

A few people have asked about our schedule for the homeschool year. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure...Not gonna say it's permanent, because in our house...like your's, life happens, people need us, we need others, we get bored, we need a day away from each other....and the list could go on and on. But this is best case scenario. Here ya go:

Time	Subject	Name
8:00	Rise and Shine, Dress, Eat	Savannah and Tucker
8:30	Sweep Porches- M,W,F Vacuum-T,TH	Savannah
8:30	Take Trash Out- M,W,F Dust T, TH	Tucker
9:00	Bible - Kay Arthur for Kids	Savannah and Tucker
9:30	Math - Horizons and Xtramath.com	Savannah
9:30	Handwriting- Horizons	Tucker
10:00	Language Arts- LifePac	Savannah
10:00	Phonics and Reading - Horizons	Tucker
10:30	Independent Reading	Savannah
10:30	Math - Horizons and Xtramath.com	Tucker
11:00	Break	Savannah and Tucker
11:15	Piano Practice	Savannah
11:15	Stack the States/ Geography	Tucker
11:45	Science- BJU	Savannah
11:45	Journal, Flashcards & Independent Reading	Tucker
12:15	Lunch	Savannah and Tucker
12:45	Maps of the US and World YWAM	Savannah
12:45	ipad games	Tucker
1:15	Wii Fit or TKD	Savannah and Tucker
2:00	Quiet Hour (Read, Educational videos, puzzles, games...leave mom alone)	Savannah and Tucker

Thankful Thursday

This week I'm thankful for:

1. A birthday celebrated...turned 41 last week and was showered with sweet messages and thoughtfulness all day long...and a few days afterward!

2. Cooler weather...let's face it...90 degrees is cooler than 100 degrees anyway you look at it. No, it's not the cool temps of Wyoming ....but this is Texas and anything less than 100 is a good thing!

3. A successful easy start to our school year. Kids are loving that the real schedule doesn't start until after Labor Day....but it's coming!

4. Friends who make me laugh and think and cry. I need them all.

Thanks Lord...for these and all your blessings upon my life.

Ready, Set, School

While most kids are enjoying the last few dog days of summer vacation...and most teacher's are slowly moving in the direction of the classroom doors, my kids were begging to start school. Now, before anyone thinks that I believe this is because of all the creative and fun learning that I have planned for our first year homeschooling both kids, please don't think I'm that naive.

We've traveled the better part of the last five weeks. Between camps, a mini-vaca for the kids while Bruce and I were at a conference, a mission trip to Wyoming and my quick trip to Ga, I feel like I need to take a deep breath and just take a moment or two to enjoy unpacking the suitcase for the last time for a while.

But for the kids, they see it totally different. School means...new pencils, new books, new folders, new markers, new new new. I remember being the same way as a kid. The fresh smell of new school supplies, even today, excites me just a little bit. A clean page to write on, a book binding not quite broken in yet, the smell of a new sharpie marker. I know...crazy.

So, last Friday when the kids were begging for the school year to begin, I gave in.

Science....earthquakes...oh my!

Keeping up and on track....BTW, have you seen the chalk markers?
LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Mom...this is pretty easy stuff. 

And today....after chores...and me falling down the den stairs (that will be a whole 'nother post...maybe) we began again...easing our way into the school year. We aren't going full force or even starting at a reasonable time yet....all that happens after Labor Day. We're excited...and today as we were talking about the Creation Story, I was reminded again why this is such a good fit for us. Yes, right before Tucker covered his ears to block out hearing how the woman was taken and formed out of man's ribs and let's not even breech the subject of their nakedness. Yes, that's when I remembered, I don't want to miss a moment of the good and the funny. Will it be laced with moments of frustrations and pulling hair out?....yep, but then I'll have a diet coke and a moment of prayer and things will be better. 

So however you school your kids, I hope you enjoy watching them learn as much as I do my own. The moments are going to fly by.....Ready! Set! School! 

Sunday's Reading

Lots and lots of good links out there this week. Hope you have a few minutes to be encouraged, enjoy a laugh or to just be entertained. Here you go:

1. From my favorite diet coke loving author, Lysa Terkurst....on my favorite blog....one of the best articles I've ever read.. Click HERE to read about how mama's can feel sometimes.

2. If you need a little bit of a chuckle...you should read THIS ....about something that we really do need to talk about at this time of year.

3. If one chuckle wasn't enough.... Go HERE. Evidently this 1980's form of exercise is making a comeback. Be sure to watch the video in it's entirety to get the full impact.

4. If you homeschool a middle schooler or a high school student who needs a foreign language credit, THIS might be just what you're looking for.

5. I came across THIS article written back in January. If you're parenting boys...this is pretty good stuff.

6. Chuckle #3 alert: Whether you're a teacher or a student or a parent, by the end of the year, it's all survival of the fittest. I've never been fit, so THIS article pretty much sums up how it is.

So....you might say there's a little less seriousness on the blog today...you're right. But hey, somebody out there needs to laugh...most of us do. And a quote I heard this week that has stuck with me is, "Take yourself less seriously and your ministry more seriously". I think we could all use a good belly laugh now and then. Hope this helped you get yours!

Reading, Writing, Arithmetic

Over the last six months I've poured over homeschool curriculum, wanting to make the best choices for the kind of learners my kids are. What I've learned is that if you want to homeschool, there's a curriculum for you! It's overwhelming and a little daunting, but in the end, I feel like we've made some good choices for our 2013-2014 school year.

Tucker and Savannah will both be using Kay Arthur's Inductive Bible Study Series for Children. We will be doing six, six week workbooks. Check them out HERE.

They will also be doing US and World Geography using Youth with a Mission (YWAM) curriculum.
You can take a look at their WEBSITE . They also have hundreds of biographies of Christian historical figures and religious heroes. It's an impressive collection. Both kids will be reading missionary biographies from this site.

Savannah will be using Alpha and Omega's Horizons Math again. We have found that this is a challenging curriculum and although I strongly considered changing to Math U See, I decided to keep her in something familiar.

Tucker will also be using Horizon's Math. He's done ABeka since PreK and I think this will be a pretty good transition for him.

For Language Arts, Savannah will be using Alpha and Omega's LifePACs. Of all the decisions I've made this is the one I'm most apprehensive about...so, I only ordered the first 4, to get us to Christmas and if it's not a good fit, I won't feel too guilty, since they aren't that expensive.

Tucker will be doing the Horizons Penmanship, which will introduce cursive during the second half of the year. He will also be doing the Horizons Reading and Phonics program, along with the phonics special sounds he has learned through his years doing ABeka.

I'm still searching for a science curriculum. The kids want to study Oceanography, so I'm looking for something along those lines, with a Biblical worldview. Suggestions? Leave a comment, please!

Along with the missionary biographies, Savannah will be reading the 10 book, Reel Kid's Adventure Series . These are books about young people who take the gospel to the ends of the earth. On their adventures Savannah will learn about people groups, geography and a broader worldview. She will also read Anne of Green Gables, The Brian Series by Gary Paulsen and anything else she can get her hands on! Tucker will be reading the TIME LIFE Children's Adventure books, The Happy Hollisters (yes, we are kickin' it old school) and the Ready Freddy series.

 We're planning on doing some cooking, library trips, field trips with friends, art and maybe some sort of cooking or baking class - plus keep up with piano and taekwondo.

Now, deep breath and enjoy the summer!

The First Day....of the rest of my life

I've been dreaming of the day that I would be staying home as a full time wife and mom. And the time is now. After working in some form or fashion for the last 20 years (10 of them as a mom), I am  overwhelmed and in awe that God has heard my cry to stay home with my kids and concentrate on that calling in my life. To say this road has been an easy one to pass would be a lie. We've counted the cost of becoming a one income family and decided it is totally worth it. I've wondered if I will be going crazy sometime in the middle of our homeschooling year next November or December and have determined, that I'm sure somewhere along the way, I'll end up sending a SOS flare up to the sky. But..in all the unknowns and costs and fears, one thing is certain, I have watched my God direct us each step of the way, and I know that same God will take care of all the incidentals the rest of the way.

In September of last year, I started teaching a Wednesday Night small group of ladies at my church. We did a book studying using Priscilla Shirer's Resolution for Women. We were bopping along quite nicely until I was preparing for week five. I was sitting in my chair in the front living room and remember exactly the feeling that came over me, when I read this:

5. A Resolution To Devote My Best to God’s Priorities For Me

I will seek to devote the best of myself, my time, and my talents to the primary roles the Lord has entrusted to me in this phase of my life.

And it hit me. Like bricks falling off a truck or a football player being tackled....either way...it was rough. I had been burning the proverbial candle at both ends of the stick. I was trying to juggle all the mom stuff, wife stuff, church stuff, school teacher stuff, friend stuff and I was tired, sick, run down and felt myself becoming irritated with things that used to bring me great joy. I definitely wasn't giving my best to any of the God-given priorities in my life. I was giving my best to things that I chose for myself and the priorities that God had given me were suffering. And I knew it. 

Over Christmas break I had planned to overhaul my house, thinking that if I could just get a handle on things that I could put this gnawing feeling behind me and refocus with a fresh start. But instead I ended up with the flu and bronchitis and was wiped out. I hadn't felt good in months, the Dr. looked at me and said, "rest". 

But I didn't want to rest, I wanted to work in my house and cook meals and do all the things that I never had time to do because of the other things I was juggling. But I went to bed for a few days, and as I laid there I knew what I needed to do. And in the back of my mind, it's what I have desired for years and years but for one reason or another couldn't/wouldn't do. I needed to quit my job and stay home and give my best to my husband, our kids and our church. Because, that's what God has called me to for this phase of my life. 

I will never have a 10 and 7 year old again. Tucker and Savannah are growing up and the time will be gone before I know it. God gave me a preacher husband and for as long as I can remember we've been better together in ministry than separate so I want to serve with him as much as I can. I want to aim to be the Proverbs 31 woman whose home is in order, children are in order and whose husband can depend on her. 

It amazes me that God has allowed everything to work out beautifully. His favor....undeserved...at work once again. 

I'm thankful for my years teaching and in other professions along the way. I'm happy that I had the privilege to teach for three years at our church/school. But now it's time to put that energy into my own family and see where that takes us!  Today truly is the first day of the rest of my life!

Back to School Photo

 This little man started kindergarten yesterday...

This little girl....fourth grade

Praying for them both as they fill their minds with numbers and letters...

and their hearts with the knowledge of Jesus!